If I had to give you a two word job description this is it: belief detective. When I work with people in seminars and the few individual sessions I can manage, I look for clues that lead to limiting and self-defeating beliefs.
You can’t break out from the prison of the false reality that locks you in fear, anger or guilt until you discover the beliefs that make that prison.
There is a lot of fear in the air these days, so I’ll use that as an example to explain what I mean. I’ve worked with successful people recently who tell me that they live in fear, mostly about financial issues. This is not an awareness of danger. It is a painful emotion that is always with them.
I ask, “What are you concerned would happen if the fear went away?” Here are some of the answers I hear most often:
I don’t deserve to be happy
I wouldn’t be careful about money
I wouldn’t do anything
I would give up
Can you see that the answers may be an odd match with the question? The point is that the question dredges up the beliefs that hold fear in place.
When we looked more deeply into the specific beliefs everyone uncovered some form of this belief, “My fear protects me” or “My fear keeps me safe.”
Once we uncoverd the belief we could question it. “How does fear protect you or keep you safe?” I cannot recall an instance of fear keeping anyone safe. Living in fear actually blocks awareness of danger and creative responses to it.
So far, everyone who has discovered and explored the belief that they need to live in fear in order to be deserving, careful, productive, tenacious, alert, or aware of danger has come to view that belief as untrue -- a self-defeating myth.
When someone breaks out from a belief that requires him to live in abiding fear, he can relax. People often experience a sense of peace and well-being for the first time in a long time. One man smiled broadly, bopped himself on the forehead like a V8 commercial and said “I could of had fearless!”
Most likely when you are happy, relaxed and at peace you still want to take care of yourself and those you care about. I’ll bet you would still welcome creative solutions to every challenge you face. Breaking out from the fear myth sure improves your chances.
If you or someone you know is living in fear these days, I hope this exploration of the fear myth will be useful. Feel free to pass it on.
For more information on how to breakout from beliefs that block your happiness and success, visit http://www.mandyevans.com/