Sunday, October 30, 2016

Law of Attraction Moves in Mysterious Ways

I'm not much of a ladies who lunch sort, but it's a worthy cause, so I sign up and drag myself out to the Palm Springs Writers Guild (PSWG) benefit with some thriller author -- not my genre but I think I may meet someone interesting. 

I go in to the Omni Ballroom in Rancho Mirage, check tables for place-names, don't see anything. I look around for a table with a good view of the dias and some interesting looking people. I pick table #2 and ask if it's ok to join them. We chat. I forget the name of the guy to my left so I ask again. It's Kyle. I vow to remember it. The talk turns to where people are from. Kyle is from N. Dakota. I ask what brings him here. He's the speaker. OOPS! 

Then the organizer lady comes to tell me I'm at the wrong table. This one is for special people, one of whom, according to her, I am not. I'm supposed to be at table 11. 

Warding off mortification I gather up my stuff and head for table 11. People are already sitting in each and every place there. This is not my idea of fun. I contemplate just departing but opt for sharing my predicament with the organizing lady. Since there are 4 empty seats at the special people's table, I suggest it might be ok for me to return. After I stand around for a wee eternity she agrees. 

I return for a wonderful time with Kyle Mills who has taken over writing a mega-popular series of books by the deceased bestselling author, Vince Flynn. 

You just never know who you're going to meet and how. But I note the law of attraction idea and that I set out to meet someone interesting. Now I'm going to read "Order to Kill" a Mitch Rapp Novel by Kyle Mills.  

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That Law of Attraction sure works in mysterious ways.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Question Your Limits:Two Breakout Stories

Most likely all you need to thrive and be happy is inside you already. But over time we limit our own potential. How can you set it free? Here are two examples.

You can never be too successful to question your own self imposed limits. A successful coach came for an afternoon of Breakout Coaching. How successful? Try multi-gold-medal winning olympic coach!

Actually, he sort of got dragged here. The person who dragged him was upset because he did not spend enough time with her. Every time I asked him a question, she answered, until I asked her if she could let this be his time, especially since she thought it was his problem.

The man was stressed to the max, working frantically to keep a growing throng of people happy. He dreaded disappointing anyone. He believed if someone was disappointed in him it meant he had let them down. He also believed if he let people down he was a failure.

We pondered these questions. Do any of them apply to you?
  • Do you control what others expect of you?
  • Do you believe it's up to you whether someone else is disappointed in you?
  • What are you concerned would happen if you still wanted to do your very best, but felt OK if someone else was disappointed?
  • If they understood how hard you try could they feel better?
  • If you love two people and one wants to be alone with you at the beach and the other wants to be alone with you in the mountains are you a failure if you cannot do both?
I watched him grow bewildered and then relax into a bigger space with more room to breathe. Then I had a question for his friend.

Can you cut him some slack. With total good will and tears in her eyes, she answered a wholehearted, yes. They left happy, with him grateful for the dragging.

What if you can't even read? One of the greatest adventures in my life has been teaching 3 adults how to read. Each one of them believed they were stupid. All three of them were very bright. Can you imagine going through life like that?

We rode emotional roller coasters together as we broke in to literacy. Richard was my last reader -- in his late 60's, in ill health, with memory problems. But he did it!

I'll be you can't guess one of the major challenges Richard encountered. As he began to really read, infomation jumped out at him from everywhere. A stroll down the aisle at the supermarket almost did him in with overload from the labels on the shelves. They used to be just colors, now they bombarded him with words, words, words!

Richard died about a year after we worked together. His obituary mentioned that he had recently learned to read.

I hope these stories demonstrate how unique each of us is. And one thing we all share in common, each and everyone of us lives within limits we hold in place ourselves. We usually don't know what they are or that we are doing it, though.

That is why I hope you will come to the Breakout Coach Training in the Netherlands in May. You may have to break out from some limits to pull it off, bu in four days you can learn the basics of Breakout Coaching. What you do with it, is up to you! Here's the link with all the details.

Let's stage a breakout together!


Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Breakout Coaching for You

Most people have never heard of it, but for me it's a way of life now. I call it Breakout Coaching. You can use it to break out from limits, especially limiting beliefs and perceptions that block your happiness and your success.

It's always an inside job, a breakout like this. The escape tools are awareness, acceptance, desire and questions. When you learn how to question your limits, you can escape from them into freedom.

What kinds of issues? How about marriage and death?  When to begin? Now.

Never too soon. A little girl grew anxious about an upcoming wedding where she was going to be the flower girl. My son, Barnaby and her mom, Sheri decided to get married after 15 happy years together, 6 of them with my granddaughter, Emery.

As I sat with her on the day before the big event I asked if she was worried about the wedding-- because she sure seemed worried to me. She said no, but I didn't believe her.

A while later, I ventured, are you more excited about the wedding or more worried? More worried, she said.

When kids worry, parents reassure them. Unless they delve into the inner source of the feelings, the reassurance will not match the fears though. Sheri and Barnaby had already discovered she does not like kissing. They assured her there would be minimal kissing involved, just like the goodbye and hello kisses they shared every morning and evening. But there was more holding that little girl in worry jail.

Here are some of the questions I asked. She answered no to all of them.

  • Have you ever been to a wedding before?
  • Do you know what happens at a wedding? 
  • Do you know what a flower girl does?

YouTube to the breakout rescue. We spent a happy morning watching videos like 17 Kids Who Are So Done with Weddings. That one ends with a kid whacking the groom in the head as he reaches under the wedding gown to remove the garter. I really had some explaining to to -- including, what's a garter?

The next evening she danced and pranced through the celebrations and dropped those rose petals like a pro.

Never too late. When I lived in Rosendale, NY, an article about me appeared in the New Paltz paper. The headline said ...Offers New Hope for Healing. A few days later a long letter came from an elderly lady. She asked if I could help her to walk again.

I answered that walking was not my specialty, but I'd be glad to visit her if she liked. And so began weekly visits with Mabel, a demanding, cantankerous old woman. who lived in near isolation, supported with endless patience by a nun from the local Catholic church who did her shopping. She always began with a litany of complaints. When I listened (with acceptance) she began to recall happy adventures as a pretty young woman in Brooklyn.

Mable could walk with a cane, just not handle long distances -- and not about to sit in a wheelchair. She was always up and dressed with make-up on when I arrived until one day when she didn't answer my knock at the door. When I opened it and called out she answered weakly, telling me to come to her room. I found her in bed with a large bruise on the side of her face.

She told me she had fallen and been unable to get up until her sister of mercy arrived hours later. She said she was tired.

I asked if she would like me to lie down with her while she rested and she said yes. We lay there spooning with my arm round her for a while. She told me she was scared. I asked her what she was scared of. Dying alone she said.

Then I asked (the usually unthinkable) what about dying alone scares you? Mable lay quietly for a few minutes.  Then she said, Oh, I suppose it would be alright. Then she got up and asked if I'd like some tea!

Just so you know, months later she lay in a coma in Benedictine Hospital in Kingston.The nun who had cared for her so long, a brother from the church and I took turns holding her hand until she slipped peacefully away.

These days I hear people talk about the reasons for their fear and anger, the places they are stuck in their lives. They blame circumstances and events, people and things; The government ranks high among culprits. Instead of watching this endless struggle to rearrange these deck chairs on the Titanic of their lives, I wish I could give everyone these precious keys to freedom that have served me and my students so well.

Here's what I've got:
A website full of articles and free audio and video material

Real How-To Books in paperback or digital editions:
Travelling Free How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs

Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness

Breakout Training Coach Training in the Netherlands in May. If you want to learn how to use these tools yourself, there are still spaces available. Join us for a breakout by the sea.

Coming soon Never too Successful and What if You Can't Even Read?

Cheering you on to happiness and success beyond limits!