Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King

Thank you Martin Luther King. On April 3rd, 1968, my then husband Ron, took me to see Janis Joplin at a new supper club in the Village in NYC, Generation, for my birthday. The owner, Barry Imhoff, had managed the Cafe Au Go Go where I had worked and Ron still did. Barry went way out on a financial limb to get Janis for the opening weekend. It was my first night out after my son Barnaby Dorfman was born, the first time I left him with a sitter. I confess, I was so exhausted I barely made it through the evening.

The next day, Martin Luther King was killed. Our Upper West Side Neighborhood erupted in gun fire. Out neighborhood store at 97th and Broadway was looted. The Vietnam War raged on and on and Barry Imhoff lost the club he'd dreamed of for many years.

I wondered what kind of a world I had brought my son into. The war ended. Life went on and Barack Obama gave me reason to rejoice. I thought it was over -- the decades, even centuries of racism, cruelty and hatred of people slightly different from each other.

Now I struggle again, with the Muslim Ban, the hunting down of my neighbors from Mexico, El Salvador and Guatemala and a man in office who calls other people's countries S---holes". Thank you Martin Luther King for your courage and vision. Thank you for teaching me that it is better to keep my "eyes on the prize" than to give in to despair or anger. I try to keep that focus and do what I can to promote peace, kindness and equality for all beings. I am grateful for your example and to everyone who follows it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Valentine Lesson from a Crane

The windows on our patio sliders reflect when the sun shines on them. I don't suppose cranes knows that. Our crane spent the morning going from one door to another, peering at himself, flapping his wings, waiting, peering, flapping, waiting. walking round appearing agitated, approaching another patio door, peering, flapping, waiting. Does he feel rejected? Does he know it's him?
How many of us peer at ourselves without recognising our magnificence and move on -- rejecting the very self that longs for love?
Sending love to your magnificent self!

Sunday, December 3, 2017

The Blessing Bonus

Oh, if holidays would only come with peace on earth, good will to men -- women and children, all living creatures! But no, life goes on with it's full mix of gain and loss, birth and death, no matter what the season.

I, for example, tripped over my own vacuum cleaner 4 months ago. After months of physical therapy for two broken bones, a muscle tear and a sprained ankle that leg was still very weak so I went for an MRI. It was a challenge because a knee replacement with metal in it interfered, making it take much longer that usual. To pass the time in the tube I began to send blessings to everyone I could think of. I started with near and dear, moved on to dead and dear, then out everyone who has touched my life and on to people I'm not so fond of.

You know, it was a really good time that left me keenly aware of the many people I have been blessed to know and how deeply you and they have enriched my life. Sort of a blessing bonus.

I know an MRI isn't big deal, but sending blessings has helped me through some pretty tough times. I recommend it, especially for holidays when it's easy to miss loved ones we've lost, or feel left out, or spend time with someone we don't get along with so well. Give it a whirl, just send out blessings and see what happens.

I wonder what our beautiful world would be like if we all sent each other, friend and foe, blessings from time to time.

Sending many blessings to you and yours for happy holidays filled with love.

Mandy

PS. The MRI revealed partial tears in two tendons. Relieved to know I'm not just getting weak. Am still gaining strength with exercise, especially in the blessing of a heated pool.





Friday, December 30, 2016

Improbable Wonders

Stronger than a resolution, much more fun that setting goals! Make a list of what you would like to welcome onto your life in the coming New Year.

Write the title "I Welcome."  Let your imagination soar and see what happens.

Sharing all or part (if there's stuff you want to keep private) of your list gives it a boost and inspires others. I'm doing mine on New Year's Eve and will share it here. I'd love to see yours. Just click  "comments" below and we can all share your visions

Oh, and do not be reasonable.  No need for that!

Image result for flying pigs pics
Cheering you on to improbable wonders!
Love,
Mandy

Sunday, November 13, 2016

How You See Me Isn't Real

I lived in Cordoba, Spain in my early twenties. In an apartment in an ugly new post civil war building, shared by a couple with one son to the right of the front door and a family with five children to the left. Mine was a room in the middle with one window that looked into a tiny kitchen I shared with the right side family.

The big family on the left often invited me sit around the table with them in the evening. The tablecloth was a heavy woven fabric, hanging long down the sides. Underneath the table a brazier with coals rested in a round cutout frame between the legs. When we covered our laps with our share of the table cloth, the coals and companionship kept us warm.

They were very kind. I can't remember the names of the parents. The children were Maria, Matilde, Aulogia, Miguel and Jose. Everyone worked at something useful but me. The girls knitted or unraveled old sweaters to re-knit the wool. The boys tinkered with small motors, or clocks to repair.

I began to learn Spanish, sharing the gleeful feeling of triumph when I finally got a simple joke.

As Easter approached, Matilde took it upon herself to teach me about Jesus, because, as she told me, she knew that as a Protestant, I believed in rocks and rivers and things like that instead of God like they did. I don't know what astounded me more. Their amazing tolerance in welcoming a rock-and-rivers-believer to their table or the idea of rocks and river worship.

In my ridiculously limited Spanish vocabulary I explained that Protestants believed in Christ too. Her eyes widened as I offered up what I remembered as a long-lapsed Episcopalian. Yo creo en Dios, el padre, y Jesus Cristo, su unico hijo.

How did I learn that, she wondered. In church, I explained. Where had she learned the rock and rivers bit? In church too, from the priests.

I wish everyone could be a stranger in a strange land at least once. I learned a lot about myself in Cordoba and a lot about Franco's Spain. One treasured lesson is that I am not what you think I am and you are not what I think you are.  We may never fully understand another human being but some times kindness shared around a table can bring us a lot closer.

As the Facebook and Twitter battles rage over our 2016 US election and many of us have taken to the streets to voice dismay, I hope we will find new ways to come together and share our ideas. Because I know I am not who you think I am. And you are not who I think you are. We're all just trying to find our way, doing the best we can with what we know and what we believe. And that can change in an instant of recognition.

Following this idea inward, I see that my ideas of my self are just that too, just ideas and their stronger cousins, beliefs. Many of my ideas of my self have been limiting and false. Each time I broke out from one limiting belief, or a bunch of them, I entered a larger playing field.

If someone had told me when I was in highschool that I would be a published author. Or a coach with successful, even famous, clients. Or live in Southern California, it would have sounded as wild as believing in rocks and rivers.

If you would like an opportunity to take a journey outward to The Netherlands and a journey inward to your self, I would love to have you join us for the Breakout Coach Training in The Netherlands next May. Spending four days with people who share a common cause (encouraging ourselves and each other to discover hidden limits and breakout to new adventures) is a remarkable experience. If you are even the least bit tempted, please check out the details. There's a big early registration discount until December 1, so go see now!
Though you surely  don't have to be a coach to come, it will be an opportunity to spend time with some really good ones.

Cheering you on to happy new adventures,
Mandy



Sunday, October 30, 2016

Law of Attraction Moves in Mysterious Ways

I'm not much of a ladies who lunch sort, but it's a worthy cause, so I sign up and drag myself out to the Palm Springs Writers Guild (PSWG) benefit with some thriller author -- not my genre but I think I may meet someone interesting. 

I go in to the Omni Ballroom in Rancho Mirage, check tables for place-names, don't see anything. I look around for a table with a good view of the dias and some interesting looking people. I pick table #2 and ask if it's ok to join them. We chat. I forget the name of the guy to my left so I ask again. It's Kyle. I vow to remember it. The talk turns to where people are from. Kyle is from N. Dakota. I ask what brings him here. He's the speaker. OOPS! 

Then the organizer lady comes to tell me I'm at the wrong table. This one is for special people, one of whom, according to her, I am not. I'm supposed to be at table 11. 

Warding off mortification I gather up my stuff and head for table 11. People are already sitting in each and every place there. This is not my idea of fun. I contemplate just departing but opt for sharing my predicament with the organizing lady. Since there are 4 empty seats at the special people's table, I suggest it might be ok for me to return. After I stand around for a wee eternity she agrees. 

I return for a wonderful time with Kyle Mills who has taken over writing a mega-popular series of books by the deceased bestselling author, Vince Flynn. 

You just never know who you're going to meet and how. But I note the law of attraction idea and that I set out to meet someone interesting. Now I'm going to read "Order to Kill" a Mitch Rapp Novel by Kyle Mills.  

Product Details

That Law of Attraction sure works in mysterious ways.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

Question Your Limits:Two Breakout Stories

Most likely all you need to thrive and be happy is inside you already. But over time we limit our own potential. How can you set it free? Here are two examples.

You can never be too successful to question your own self imposed limits. A successful coach came for an afternoon of Breakout Coaching. How successful? Try multi-gold-medal winning olympic coach!

Actually, he sort of got dragged here. The person who dragged him was upset because he did not spend enough time with her. Every time I asked him a question, she answered, until I asked her if she could let this be his time, especially since she thought it was his problem.

The man was stressed to the max, working frantically to keep a growing throng of people happy. He dreaded disappointing anyone. He believed if someone was disappointed in him it meant he had let them down. He also believed if he let people down he was a failure.

We pondered these questions. Do any of them apply to you?
  • Do you control what others expect of you?
  • Do you believe it's up to you whether someone else is disappointed in you?
  • What are you concerned would happen if you still wanted to do your very best, but felt OK if someone else was disappointed?
  • If they understood how hard you try could they feel better?
  • If you love two people and one wants to be alone with you at the beach and the other wants to be alone with you in the mountains are you a failure if you cannot do both?
I watched him grow bewildered and then relax into a bigger space with more room to breathe. Then I had a question for his friend.

Can you cut him some slack. With total good will and tears in her eyes, she answered a wholehearted, yes. They left happy, with him grateful for the dragging.

What if you can't even read? One of the greatest adventures in my life has been teaching 3 adults how to read. Each one of them believed they were stupid. All three of them were very bright. Can you imagine going through life like that?

We rode emotional roller coasters together as we broke in to literacy. Richard was my last reader -- in his late 60's, in ill health, with memory problems. But he did it!

I'll be you can't guess one of the major challenges Richard encountered. As he began to really read, infomation jumped out at him from everywhere. A stroll down the aisle at the supermarket almost did him in with overload from the labels on the shelves. They used to be just colors, now they bombarded him with words, words, words!

Richard died about a year after we worked together. His obituary mentioned that he had recently learned to read.

I hope these stories demonstrate how unique each of us is. And one thing we all share in common, each and everyone of us lives within limits we hold in place ourselves. We usually don't know what they are or that we are doing it, though.

That is why I hope you will come to the Breakout Coach Training in the Netherlands in May. You may have to break out from some limits to pull it off, bu in four days you can learn the basics of Breakout Coaching. What you do with it, is up to you! Here's the link with all the details.

Let's stage a breakout together!

Love,
Mandy