Saturday, April 28, 2012

Beyond Regret

Regret gone wrong! It probably takes about 3 minutes of feeling troubled by something that happened in order to gain whatever you need to know from regret. Along about minute 4, you begin to pour salt on a wound. After a few days, it begins to fester and after years, repetitive, ongoing regret wounds to the bone -- and heart. It blocks happiness and creativity.

Ongoing regret, the kind people replay as they go to sleep (or, more likely lie awake yearning for rest and release) serves no healthy purpose, unless it motivates you to learn from experience. Only you do not have to feel bad in order to learn. Desire to learn works much better. Desire also feels good while you absorb life's many mysterious lessons.

Re-played regret is based on a lie we believe with all our hearts: If only I hadn't done that, everything in my life that I like would stay the same, but the things I don't like would be different.

For example:
I would not be so alone
I would not struggle with money
I would be rich
I would be famous
I would be healthy

In the throes of regret we believe all of the puzzle pieces would remain the same, except for the ones we don't like. That belief, causing so much pain, I would be me, with my life, only so much better, is not true! You can’t change one puzzle piece in real life and come up with the same picture, only prettier. The whole thing changes. Your life would be completely different. We have no idea what it would be like.

You would meet different people, think different thoughts, learn different lessons, pass different tests, step up to a different obstacle -- or in front of a different bus! You would find a different way through, learn a different skill-set, be exposed to different temptations -- an infinity of difference.

Every step you take leads down a unique road to a different, ever-changing destination, filled with experiences only you will have. "If you want to change your life,  all you have to do, is turn, perhaps ever so slightly, and take the very next step in a new direction." -- "Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs." (Available in print, for Kindle and PDF Download at )

It's your time and you can choose how to spend it. If recurrent regret eats up too much of your precious life check to see if you have fallen for the one puzzle piece myth. Notice if there is something you want to learn from a past experience. How can you learn it? Would it be OK with you if the rest of your life fill fills up with happiness, success, love and miracles?!

Cheering you on with love,