Tuesday, September 21, 2010

How to Break Up Reality

Al Diaz and I had such a stimulating conversation last night on his show I’m still thinking about it. One thing we talked about were our personal wake up calls.

Here’s one. When my son was about 12 we were shopping for school clothes with our friend Brenda. Brenda worked as head of finance for Werner Erhard’s famous and infamous est organization. She knew a thing or two about what constituted reality.

When my son’s strong will met my soft heart getting him to do stuff was tricky. When Brenda and I were ready to leave the store that day I told him it was time to go. Then I gave him a few minutes more. Then I told him it really was time to go – about 12 times.

Finally Brenda leaned in and said It’s time to break up reality. When I asked what she meant, she replied, We walk out the door and go to the car.

You’d be amazed at how quickly he got there too.. He adjusted to that new reality immediately.

I get a lot of questions from people about how to change someone else. The key is always the same, change yourself. In family therapy the concept goes like this: If one member of a family changes, everyone else has to adjust to the new role definition. In metaphysics it is: If you wiggle our finger, the whole universe has to adjust.

That triggers another est memory. I was in at an est seminar with Werner Erhard. Someone asked a question, then listened to the answer about how he had to be responsible for his own experience. How come it’s always me? He asked only ½ joking. I don’t know how to tell you this, Werner replied, but in your life it’s always going to be you.

If there is a situation or relationship you are struggling with, maybe it’s time to break up reality. It takes action. Talking, unless it’s really different from your old familiar routine will not do it. For a lively adventure tweak your role in the universe, with your family, or at work with a new dance step, a new approach. I strongly recommend a light heart in a happy spirit of adventure. Watch what happens and let us know.


You can listen to my recorded conversation with Al Diaz at

You can break up reality at the BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend in Vancouver, BC.