Monday, December 30, 2019

Down with Resolutions; Up with Flying Pigs!

Do you make New Year's resolutions? Do you keep them?

I switched to making a list of what I would love to have happen in the new year. Since a brand new decade begins on January 1, 2020 it seems especially apt to pay some attention to what we want to welcome in with it.

Try this; write I Welcome in 2020 at the top of your page. Then write down all of the things and experiences you would like to have come into your life.
Some pointers
  • Don't be shy, no need to be reasonable
  • Do not bother about how it can happen
  • Be ready to accept miracles, outrageous, improbable outcomes like when pigs fly!

Is there something you struggle with? This is an excellent time to compare how much time and energy you spend on what you want to happen versus how much you devote to what do not want to happen. That includes things that have already happened you are still upset about. Time to change the balance?

Though I thought I knew better, I recently shocked myself when I saw how much energy I expended about having asthma. I wondered what to do, was ticked off every time I wheezed. I devoted a good part of every day to worrying and dreading. I lost touch with my desire to breathe freely. I forgot that these things come and go and that I want this one to go! Now I spend a few moments in the morning and at night (and whenever I catch myself focused on what I don't want) just plain wanting healthy breathing. I know it's possible. I see no reason to believe it cannot happen. Then I usually feel excited. I don't know what will happen but I'm sure to improve my chances.

I'd love to know what you want this year. If you share you list with us, it will inspire others.
Happy New Year! Many Blessings!

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

Happy Holidays and Peace on Earth

Happy Holidays! Whichever ones you celebrate, wishing love, joy, warmth, food and shelter for everyone. 

Peace on Earth!

Let There Be Peace on Earth: Grassroot Movement?

Love,
Mandy

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Happy Winter Solstice

Dear Ones,
Rest up on this long dark night for wonders to come.

Image may contain: water
Love,
Mandy

PS, Less than wonderful, my website is down. Working on a solution.

Wednesday, April 3, 2019

Teenage Blog Reviews "Emotional Options"

Hawi is 13. She reviews books on her blog, MAGICAL BOOK WORLD   http://magicalbookworld.com/. I am excited to know that her review of "Emotional Options" may help teenagers learn how to be happier before they load up with years of painful emotional baggage to sort through.

Here is Hawi's review, reprinted with her permission. 

BOOK REVIEW- EMOTIONAL OPTIONS


I will forward this by saying that although this is very different to the books that I usually blog about, I do not hesitate in including this to the selection. I am a believer that emotional wellbeing is an important part of most people’s lives, and therefore it is almost my duty as a human being to aid other people in the mission to achieve happiness.
This book is a very important book and deserves a place on every bookshelf. I finished it in one brief yet enlightening sitting and am left with a slightly different outlook on being happy. Mandy Evans has succeeded in crafting a ‘handbook for happiness’ and guides the reader to that stage with easily-understandable words of wisdom. I was pleasantly surprised by the content of this book, and I am sure to reach for it at many trying periods during my life.
Thank you Mandy!
-Hawi

Monday, April 1, 2019

The Mightiest Motivator

Defying the laws of gravity, they rise up to reach beyond everything they have ever known. Over and over they fall. They rise up again. Eventually they conquer a brave new world.
They set no goals. They require no discipline, adhere to no schedule. Fear of failure, regret, guilt for not practicing enough-these strategies play no part in their game plan or ultimate success.
They are babies. Using the strongest motivation known to human kind, they master the art of walking. How? Why? With what motivation? The answer to all 3 questions is the same. Desire-because they want to.
You want a master class in motivation? Watch babies. Every day they achieve something that was impossible the day before.
Yet all day every day intelligent, well educated people use everything but their natural desire to lead them to what they want. They use misery motivators instead. They withhold happiness from themselves, promising they will never feel good until they get that car or that job, or that first million dollars. They use guilt, regret, shame, anger, punishment, worry, fear and self-loathing to bash, beat and prod themselves and other people through life. Why? In order to achieve goals they hope will make them happy.
Misery motivators achieve miserable results. If that’s not self-defeating, please tell me what is?
Add some might and joy to your motivation. Visit https://mandyevans.com for courses, free belief quizzes and the free article “A Kinder from of Motivation” by Jeffrey Pease.
Here is an excerpt about motivation from Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness. Use it to motivate yourself like a big baby.
“We can divide the ways to motivate yourself and others into two basic categories:
Desire and Happiness or Need and Unhappiness Motivation with desire and happiness moves things about so quickly that you may not notice it happening.
When we use desire for our motivation, the difference between wanting and attachment becomes clear. Wanting is moving toward and can include happiness. Attachment is often static and requires the feelings of need and sometimes fear, for our very survival. Attachment appears to connect us to the object of our need-as if our fear, our sorrow, our guilt, our experience of need, will bring it to us or keep it escaping. But this does not work very well.
To believe that you need something requires, by definition, that you also believe that you cannot be okay without that something. It may be an experience that you believe you need to have or a material object or goal to achieve.
In this need filled view of reality, if you do not get what you want or reach your goal, that very not getting threatens your well-being, your hopes for happiness, and your ability to be okay. When you use need and unhappiness in order to help yourself to get what you want, you live in that need and un-happiness. That experience is life extinguishing. The very thing you do to help yourself cripples you. It chokes your life force and creativity.
In contrast, the experience of happiness and desire is life enhancing. It allows happiness now. It fosters a sense of being okay and feeling good. It simply acknowledges that something more or something different would be welcome.
Years ago, I visited a garden with a statue of a particularly jolly Buddha. Inscribed beneath it were the words, “Misunderstood desire is the cause of all suffering.” Misunderstood desire. At last it made sense!
We have all heard the familiar quote, “Desire is the cause of all suffering.” I had often wondered how someone as wise as Buddha could have thought that. How could desire ever cause suffering? Attachment and “misunderstood desire” do that. Perhaps some Puritan ethics got mixed up with Buddha’s wisdom.
Wanting something, coupled with the belief that you cannot have it, or that you are foolish to want it, can cause some powerful suffering. But not desire alone. Desire, imagination, creation, anticipation-that stuff is all fun.
Desire functions as an inner sense of direction. It may be all we will ever need to know to guide us through life -- to learn all that we need to know, to show up where we need to be. At least I cannot think of a more reliable guide. What else is there-someone else’s desire? Somebody else’s idea about what you should do? Your desire, your awareness of what you welcome offers the best compass for finding your way through the mystery of life that I have found so far. This system of navigation pretty much eliminates regret and guilt. It also banishes the temptation to try to make anyone else suffer.
When you follow your conscious desire as an inner sense of direction, correcting your course as you go, all you have to do when you want a change is ask yourself, “What do I welcome now? Where shall I go from here?”
You can skip that part about feeling bad, worrying that you will never change, blaming someone else for your predicament. You can bypass the frantic search for a new game plan before you even know what game you want to play.”
From Emotional Options by Mandy Evans. Available as e-book and paperback http://amzn.com/B008RBUC4S
As my friend success coach, Michael Neill says in his happily helpful book, You Can Have What You Want "Happiness Leads to Success more often that success leads to happiness."
Wishing you mighty motivation, love, happiness and many blessings.
Love,
Mandy

Saturday, October 13, 2018

You Are Like a Diamond

You are like a diamond, beyond rare, one of a kind. You? Yes you, with everything you have and everything you have not.

You could look at a diamond and say, but it's so hard to cut. And there is no ruby or emerald in it. It's so hard to find. Somehow diamonds escape that kind of criticism.

What if you break out from it too? Why not? Why not stand in awe of the beautiful, unique, beyond rare being that you are? Shine on.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

7 Questions to Recover from Sexual Assault

     Each woman or man who reveals secrets from the past that have haunted them for decades rings a bell to liberate others. This bell cannot be unwrung. The "Me Too" movement surged to a tidal wave that washed away the conviction that people in power had the right to sexual subjugation over the less-than-powerful. The belief that there was nothing anyone could do about it changed quickly--as any belief can. Calls to the National Sexual Assault Line at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) surged.
          Do you know someone who survived a sexual attack or even a rape and still suffers from the experience? That someone may even be you.
     Here are 7 keys to unlock the door and escape from the prison that still holds you captive, that blocks happiness and success. These are questions for you to ask yourself. There are no right and wrong answers, only your answers. No one else knows them. Write freely. If an answer does not make sense to you just stay with the question as more insight comes to you. If strong emotions come up, see if you can keep going. 
     I learned how these questions work from people I coached as individuals, in ongoing groups, workshops and in response to my book Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs. I discovered that each person who survived a painful experience did so in a different way with different lasting effects. Each person held unique keys to his or her own freedom.

  The 7 questions that have helped people move beyond surviving to thriving

  1. What happened that was hard for you?
  2. What was hard about it?
  3. What did it mean to you about yourself and your life?
  4. Regarding your answer, do you believe that?
  5. If you believe that, what about it seems true?
  6. What are you concerned would happen if you did not believe that?
  7. If you could feel any way in the world, even though that happened to you, how would you like to feel?
I would love to learn about your experience with these questions.

Cheering you on to freedom, happiness and success!

 Resource: Travelling Free How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs is a workshop-in-a-book to breakout from lasting effects of painful experiences. It is available at Amazon worldwide in print or e-book editions. Read more http://amzn.com/B002ACPNXK