Saturday, October 13, 2018

You Are Like a Diamond

You are like a diamond, beyond rare, one of a kind. You? Yes you, with everything you have and everything you have not.

You could look at a diamond and say, but it's so hard to cut. And there is no ruby or emerald in it. It's so hard to find. Somehow diamonds escape that kind of criticism.

What if you break out from it too? Why not? Why not stand in awe of the beautiful, unique, beyond rare being that you are? Shine on.

Thursday, October 4, 2018

7 Questions to Recover from Sexual Assault

     Each woman or man who reveals secrets from the past that have haunted them for decades rings a bell to liberate others. This bell cannot be unwrung. The "Me Too" movement surged to a tidal wave that washed away the conviction that people in power had the right to sexual subjugation over the less-than-powerful. The belief that there was nothing anyone could do about it changed quickly--as any belief can. Calls to the National Sexual Assault Line at 1-800-656-4673 (HOPE) surged.
          Do you know someone who survived a sexual attack or even a rape and still suffers from the experience? That someone may even be you.
     Here are 7 keys to unlock the door and escape from the prison that still holds you captive, that blocks happiness and success. These are questions for you to ask yourself. There are no right and wrong answers, only your answers. No one else knows them. Write freely. If an answer does not make sense to you just stay with the question as more insight comes to you. If strong emotions come up, see if you can keep going. 
     I learned how these questions work from people I coached as individuals, in ongoing groups, workshops and in response to my book Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs. I discovered that each person who survived a painful experience did so in a different way with different lasting effects. Each person held unique keys to his or her own freedom.

  The 7 questions that have helped people move beyond surviving to thriving

  1. What happened that was hard for you?
  2. What was hard about it?
  3. What did it mean to you about yourself and your life?
  4. Regarding your answer, do you believe that?
  5. If you believe that, what about it seems true?
  6. What are you concerned would happen if you did not believe that?
  7. If you could feel any way in the world, even though that happened to you, how would you like to feel?
I would love to learn about your experience with these questions.

Cheering you on to freedom, happiness and success!

 Resource: Travelling Free How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs is a workshop-in-a-book to breakout from lasting effects of painful experiences. It is available at Amazon worldwide in print or e-book editions. Read more

Wednesday, April 4, 2018

Thank You Dr. Martin Luther King

Thank you Martin Luther King. On April 3rd, 1968, my then husband Ron, took me to see Janis Joplin at a new supper club in the Village in NYC, Generation, for my birthday. The owner, Barry Imhoff, had managed the Cafe Au Go Go where I had worked and Ron still did. Barry went way out on a financial limb to get Janis for the opening weekend. It was my first night out after my son Barnaby Dorfman was born, the first time I left him with a sitter. I confess, I was so exhausted I barely made it through the evening.

The next day, Martin Luther King was killed. Our Upper West Side Neighborhood erupted in gun fire. Out neighborhood store at 97th and Broadway was looted. The Vietnam War raged on and on and Barry Imhoff lost the club he'd dreamed of for many years.

I wondered what kind of a world I had brought my son into. The war ended. Life went on and Barack Obama gave me reason to rejoice. I thought it was over -- the decades, even centuries of racism, cruelty and hatred of people slightly different from each other.

Now I struggle again, with the Muslim Ban, the hunting down of my neighbors from Mexico, El Salvador and Guatemala and a man in office who calls other people's countries S---holes". Thank you Martin Luther King for your courage and vision. Thank you for teaching me that it is better to keep my "eyes on the prize" than to give in to despair or anger. I try to keep that focus and do what I can to promote peace, kindness and equality for all beings. I am grateful for your example and to everyone who follows it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2018

Valentine Lesson from a Crane

The windows on our patio sliders reflect when the sun shines on them. I don't suppose cranes knows that. Our crane spent the morning going from one door to another, peering at himself, flapping his wings, waiting, peering, flapping, waiting. walking round appearing agitated, approaching another patio door, peering, flapping, waiting. Does he feel rejected? Does he know it's him?
How many of us peer at ourselves without recognising our magnificence and move on -- rejecting the very self that longs for love?
Sending love to your magnificent self!

Sunday, December 3, 2017

The Blessing Bonus

Oh, if holidays would only come with peace on earth, good will to men -- women and children, all living creatures! But no, life goes on with it's full mix of gain and loss, birth and death, no matter what the season.

During one challenging time, I began to send blessings to everyone I could think of. I started with near and dear, moved on to dead and dear, then out everyone who has touched my life, then on to people I'm not so fond of.

It left me keenly aware of the many people I have been blessed to know and how deeply you and they have enriched my life. Sort of a blessing bonus. I recommend it, especially for holidays when it's easy to miss loved ones we've lost, or feel left out, or have spend time with someone we don't get along with so well. Give it a whirl, just send out blessings and see what happens.

I wonder what our beautiful world would be like if we all sent each other, friend and foe, blessings from time to time.

Sending many blessings to you and yours for happy holidays filled with love.


Friday, December 30, 2016

Improbable Wonders

Stronger than a resolution, much more fun that setting goals! Make a list of what you would like to welcome onto your life in the coming New Year.

Write the title "I Welcome."  Let your imagination soar and see what happens.

Sharing all or part (if there's stuff you want to keep private) of your list gives it a boost and inspires others. I'm doing mine on New Year's Eve and will share it here. I'd love to see yours. Just click  "comments" below and we can all share your visions

Oh, and do not be reasonable.  No need for that!

Image result for flying pigs pics
Cheering you on to improbable wonders!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

How You See Me Isn't Real

I lived in Cordoba, Spain in my early twenties. In an apartment in an ugly new post civil war building, shared by a couple with one son to the right of the front door and a family with five children to the left. Mine was a room in the middle with one window that looked into a tiny kitchen I shared with the right side family.

The big family on the left often invited me sit around the table with them in the evening. The tablecloth was a heavy woven fabric, hanging long down the sides. Underneath the table a brazier with coals rested in a round cutout frame between the legs. When we covered our laps with our share of the table cloth, the coals and companionship kept us warm.

They were very kind. I can't remember the names of the parents. The children were Maria, Matilde, Aulogia, Miguel and Jose. Everyone worked at something useful but me. The girls knitted or unraveled old sweaters to re-knit the wool. The boys tinkered with small motors, or clocks to repair.

I began to learn Spanish, sharing the gleeful feeling of triumph when I finally got a simple joke.

As Easter approached, Matilde took it upon herself to teach me about Jesus, because, as she told me, she knew that as a Protestant, I believed in rocks and rivers and things like that instead of God like they did. I don't know what astounded me more. Their amazing tolerance in welcoming a rock-and-rivers-believer to their table or the idea of rocks and river worship.

In my ridiculously limited Spanish vocabulary I explained that Protestants believed in Christ too. Her eyes widened as I offered up what I remembered as a long-lapsed Episcopalian. Yo creo en Dios, el padre, y Jesus Cristo, su unico hijo.

How did I learn that, she wondered. In church, I explained. Where had she learned the rock and rivers bit? In church too, from the priests.

I wish everyone could be a stranger in a strange land at least once. I learned a lot about myself in Cordoba and a lot about Franco's Spain. One treasured lesson is that I am not what you think I am and you are not what I think you are.  We may never fully understand another human being but some times kindness shared around a table can bring us a lot closer.

As the Facebook and Twitter battles rage over our 2016 US election and many of us have taken to the streets to voice dismay, I hope we will find new ways to come together and share our ideas. Because I know I am not who you think I am. And you are not who I think you are. We're all just trying to find our way, doing the best we can with what we know and what we believe. And that can change in an instant of recognition.

Following this idea inward, I see that my ideas of my self are just that too, just ideas and their stronger cousins, beliefs. Many of my ideas of my self have been limiting and false. Each time I broke out from one limiting belief, or a bunch of them, I entered a larger playing field.

If someone had told me when I was in highschool that I would be a published author. Or a coach with successful, even famous, clients. Or live in Southern California, it would have sounded as wild as believing in rocks and rivers.

If you would like an opportunity to take a journey outward to The Netherlands and a journey inward to your self, I would love to have you join us for the Breakout Coach Training in The Netherlands next May. Spending four days with people who share a common cause (encouraging ourselves and each other to discover hidden limits and breakout to new adventures) is a remarkable experience. If you are even the least bit tempted, please check out the details. There's a big early registration discount until December 1, so go see now!
Though you surely  don't have to be a coach to come, it will be an opportunity to spend time with some really good ones.

Cheering you on to happy new adventures,