Saturday, December 31, 2011

Come On In In 2012!

Instead of setting goals or making resolutions as we welcome in the new year, I like to reflect on what I would like to welcome into my life in 1212. The first step to making it real is consciousness. Then sharing. Tthe magic, mysterious unfolding of life reveals the rest.

Here is some of what I welcome:

  • Food, shelter and love for everyone
  • Feeling really good
  • Health
  • Happiness
  • Opportunities to share what I've learned
  • Opportunities to share what others have learned
  • Wonderful books to read
  • Good times with friends and family
  • Inspiration for The Connection Breakout Course
  • Peace on earth and in my heart
  • Laughter, lots of laughter
  • A bunch of happy surprises, beyond my wildest dreams

Thank you for reading this. I would love to know your heart's desire for 2012 so I can join in to cheer you on! Just click "Comments" below.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Joy to the World

Jot to the world! Why not? Maybe it's having an 18 month grandchild in the family, all full of wonder and curiosity, studying up on how to talk  -- and how to climb really high. Maybe it's the sad but welcome end to the war in Iraq. Maybe it's looking at how far we have come on the path to equal rights for women, African Americans and gay people. Whatever! This year as the holidays wrap themselves around us, my abiding desire is joy to the world!

It seems so real. If we will just do it. We can  fill our individual hearts with joy and good wishes for everyone! OK, if you can't go that far yet, how about your family, your neighbors, yourself?!

It seems so real that we who have a little or a lot extra can share some to help those in need. Everyone can have enough to eat, shelter and love. Surely there is enough to go around.

It seems so real that the idea of war can become absurd, the idea of peace real and possible.

It seems so real this year. Joy to the world! Why not?

Wishing you the happiest of holidays and many blessings.

Your comments are always welcome. I love to read about your thoughts and insights and think that people we do not even know will be able to read them too.


Sunday, December 18, 2011

Words Make Something Happen

Emery is 17 months old. She discovered that words make something happen. Can you imagine her delight? More. Wow, that gets you more of something you like. All done gets them to stop giving you food when you don't want any more. Hi makes people smile and say it back. Bye- bye works pretty much the same way, only when people are going away.

Emery works happily all through the day to capture the magical powers! At night she practices as she drifts off to sleep.

You have probably conquered the magical powers long ago. Remembering the magic and the power is the tricky part and the important part.

The same words that convey love or how to build a house can also start a war or break someone's heart. They bring thoughts into reality with their vibration – literally; the spoken word vibrates through the air into our ears where we interpret it. The written word we figure out with our eyes. Amazing!

Emery is my granddaughter. Her gift to me this Christmas is a new awareness that words make something happen. She encourages me to use them well and kindly to make things happen that I want to happen. Like:
  • Thank you for reading this so we can share some thoughts
  • May peace prevail
  • Joy to the world
  • I wish you boundless success and happiness
Got words to share? Make something happen by leaving your comment.


Find life enhancing gifts at the Breakout Store

Monday, December 12, 2011

You Are The Present

How are you doing? As the holidays draw near, the days fill with opportunities to connect with friends and family, everyone really – or not.

I don't know about you, but I have spent a few tense holidays, unconscious, on automatic pilot. Growing up in an alcoholic family, my version of that was an exhausting attempt to make everything work out for everyone. Yikes!

This year I plan to break out from the well worn groove and connect with myself and others "presently". Maybe in quiet ways no one will notice, I kind of hope so.

While celebrating our connection and wishing you peace and joy, I think of breakout experiences to share.

When that gate shut behind us in the Woodbourne Correctional Facility in the Catskill mountains of New York, I knew something big had really closed. We would not walk back through that opening until someone in a uniform told us we could.

Members of the NAACP there had invited us to speak about famine in East Africa because we were involved in a project to raise awareness of about world hunger. As a guard escorted us below tiers of cells, inmates screamed down at us in such a roar I couldn't pick out what anyone was saying -- probably a good thing. When we reached an auditorium, he took us backstage to meet our sponsors.

As I waited backstage, I peeked out at rows and rows of black men wearing white tee shirts and green tennis shoes. The first speaker walked on stage, a thin white guy with glasses. They jeered. They howled. He continued with his talk as if nothing were happening.

I was next! As my pulse sped up, I thought the only thing I can do is be present, connect, not go unconscious like a robot on automatic pilot.

I walked out, took the microphone, and stood there -- gazed out at that green-sneakered sea of difference and let it in. Suddenly, as if it had a will of its own, my voice blurted out, "I've never been in a prison before." Over a ripple of laughter another voice from the back rows rang out, "Neither had I, honey."

When our laughter died down, that group of men, incarcerated in the Woodbourne Correctional Facility in the Catskill mountains of New York listened in total silence while I presented statics on infant mortality and starvation in Somalia and the horn of East Africa.

Those guys donated several hundred dollars, their gift to alleviate suffering across the world, an amazing amount considering their meager resources.

As I've worked with all sorts of people over the decades of my coaching experience, over and over we discovered that the present of our presence is always enough.

As you ponder your holiday lists of things to cook and presents to buy, how about including your presence, the most splendid present of all? What a gift you are!

Wishing you golden moments of happy, present holidays.


For other presents look at my Amazon Author page for two books. Give the gift of happiness with Emotional Options. Give the gift of recovery with Travelling Free

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Speaking of Miracles

Want to experience a miracle? Several to choose
from came up in a Skype interview with those
delightful women, The English Sisters today.

Miraculously, it's already up and available on YouTube

Rome to Palm Springs! A little jerky, but hey,
across the world and free!

More about Accepting Miracles! If you are looking
for holiday gifts (don't forget yourself) please consider
the "Accepting Miracles" video at the Breakout Store.

For $7.95 you can give it 3 times! We set the delivery
so it can be downloaded and saved 3 times. When you
buy it, you can send the link you get on your receipt to
2 other people. Let's see, that's $2.65 each.

Arithmetic aside, the live presentation in this video drew
a big standing ovation because it opens the door to
accepting miracles. They are available to us all, but so
easy to miss if we get caught in the quicksand of stress,
worry and fear. It's ironically common to lose track of our
blessings during the holidays meant to celebrate them.

Here's to accepting and celebrating the miracles of connection, love, and happiness with you!


Readers and I love to hear what you think and share your
miracles. You can post them here by clicking on "Post a comment"below.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

What Are You Grateful For?

I don't know which is more wonderful feeling gratitude, sharing gratitude or learning that someone is grateful to you.

I'm in Seattle, grateful for warmth and shelter, the love of my family and friends and the opportunity to connect with you. Grateful for the infinite opportunities for happiness, love and prosperity available to us all. 

What are you grateful for?  Click "comments" below to let us know.

Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings!


Friday, November 4, 2011

Relationship Challenge

What do you find challenging in relationships -- not just romantic ones, but all kinds, like friendships and people you work with?

For me the hardest one is the choice to say something to someone knowing full well they won't like it and may find it painful, or be a total hypocrite. Usually I can just let it go. I'm not the boss of the universe or anyone but my dear cleaning lady for 3 hours every other week. But sometimes, if you do not speak up you will have to relinquish something you value deeply or put up with something destructive. Give up or risk the lash-back scenario, the loss of a relationship, or having someone set out to destroy your reputation? It is not so easy.

We all face those choices. How do you deal with them?

I've opted to say my piece as kindly as I could in a couple of instances when the choice seemed like doing that or taking a long drink of slow working poison. It was hard, really hard -- the consequences long and drawn out. The result in self-respect and closer connections are worth it.

Connecting with our fellow-beings presents such possibilities for joy and pain. At the first (and probably last) Breakout Coach Training last week, we amazed ourselves with the complexity and power of the barriers we have built between us and our fellow beings. We broke out from many of our privately run prisons of isolation to an outpouring of love and creativity.

What is a relationship challenge for you? How do you deal with it?

Connecting with love,

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Are You Rich Or Poor? How to Tell

Do you believe you are rich or poor? If you have enough and some to spare you are rich. If you do not have enough and have nothing to spare, you are poor.

One of the keys that will prop open the door to prosperity is the knowledge that you always have something to give. It may as sweet as a smile or as rare as understanding and acceptance. The generosity of encouragement has strong power to uplift or hold someone up who is about to fall over. A hand to hold can provide a lifeline. Perhaps you can provide actual help with a task or trouble? It could be money too, of course.

I have seen people blast out of poverty consciousness by daring to donate some of their store of cash to a worthy cause, or by leaving a tip to brighten someone's day.

A friend who barely had enough income to scrape by, pledged to give $10 a month to an organization dedicated to ending world hunger at an event we attended. When I whispered, "You don't have to do that." "She replied, "I can do that. I know what it is like not to be able to feed your children. I can do that."

Coincidence, or prime-the-pump Karma? She got a job soon after. It paid enough to move the specter of all-out-of-money farther away than it had ever been in her life.

On the flip side, I live in a fairly affluent community filled with many generous and kind people – and a few who look as if they believe if they smile, they will lose something they can never get back. A poster pops up on Facebook lately. It says, "Some people are so poor all they have is money." I know a few of those people too. The suffer just like those who struggle to pay the rent.

Are you rich or poor? What do you believe? I'd love to know.


For more resources visit:

Monday, September 26, 2011

You're Probably Not Normal!

You're probably are not normal! One of a kind,
that's what you are. It does not get any more
special than that. How exquisitely unique, your
view of life and our world. Only you have touched
all of the people you have loved and befriended.

What amazing gifts you have to share. If you attempt
to trade them all for a spot on a bell curve marked
"normal," you will never know who you might connect
with if you give a hint of your splendor. Even if you
try to make that bad bargain, you probably won't
succeed; you'll just dim your light a little.

One of a kind character actor, Bill Hickey, was one
of the strangest people I ever knew -- tall, skinny with
teeth like a race horse and a NY accent so intense it
seemed like a joke. Nominated for an Academy
Award for a role in "Prizi's Honor" and beloved acting
teacher at the HB Studio in NYC, he once said,
"If you want a really good acting lesson just ride the
subway and watch all of the people trying to act normal."

Just to think of the beyond-normal wonder of
Bill Hickey and you! Still, almost everyone I know
lives with painful beliefs about lack of worthiness
and doubt about what they have to offer.

If I had a magic wand and could wave those beliefs
away,would you want me to wave it?

If not, why not? If you have an answer to that one,
you've got some beliefs that would be well worth

How about celebrating an "I'm Not Normal Day"?
We won't have to tell anyone if we don't want to.
We could devote 24 hours to knowing deep in our
hearts, that each of us is a one of a kind treasure.

I'm starting now; I hope you will join me.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

9/11 Vision

On TV, the tear filled eyes of the children who lost a parent on 9/11 fill my heart with love and admiration for their courage. My thoughts turn to the countless children we humans have orphaned with our blind faith in punishment and vengeance.

I also hold in my heart a vision. In my vision, each person strives for peace, understanding, kindness, compassion and creative solutions to problems. We want it with the same intense desire many of us feel for money, cars, status or fame. I'm feeding the fire of that desire.

Smiling and sending love,

Friday, September 2, 2011

Prosperity Is An Inside Job

Questions about money fly around like mosquitoes on a muggy night lately. No kidding? Since we hurtled from the ‘give me, get me, buy me era to the days of ‘what happened to my job? And who took my retirement?’ it’s a natural hot topic.

Here are some prosperity priming tips to weather the storm and thrive.

Six habits to breakout from:
1. Clinging to the status quo. Fighting change uses up energy you could put to better use. It’s like trying to cling to a rock as a tsunami roars in instead running for high ground. One of the toughest laws of the universe tells us, “you either expand, or you contract.” You can’t just hover; you’ll crash.

2. Blaming. The fixed idea that someone else determines the outcome of your life blocks creativity. It sucks the life force right out of you. The more you are will to be responsible for, the more freedom you have.

3. Resenting the success of others. It is very hard to attract to yourself what you condemn in others.

4. Complaining. A little whining goes a long way. It turns people off. Not only that, it keeps your focus on what you don’t want. What you focus on grows!

5. Fear. Many people actually keep themselves in a state of fear and anxiety on purpose due to the misguided belief that fear will help them avoid danger. Fear bombards their bodies with adrenalin and wears them out to the point of giving up.

6. Shame. The belief that there is something shameful about loss and hardship is prevalent. I’ve explored it with lots of people. It has never proved true.

Seven habits to cultivate:
1. Flexibility: You may have to move, downsize or expand. It can be a nightmare (if you do not break out from the habits above) or a great adventure. Your choice.

2. Gratitude. Being aware of the miracles around us natures our sense of wonder. Feeling grateful alters your private version of reality from one of lack to one of abundance and blessings.

3. Looking for opportunities. One of my favorite quotes is, “What you see is mostly what you look for.” Keep an eye out for open doors in places you might not expect to find them.

4. Asking for help. Often a simple shame-blame-and-complaint-free request brings big benefits. Friends, family and Facebook Friends are often glad to provide introductions, useful advice, leads and other assistance if they know what you are looking for.

5. Learning. A return to school, some training in your field, working with a coach, a how-to book, a master mind group, an exciting hour with Google – just for starts! So much to learn, so little time. Learning about how to improve your financial health is fun and profitable.

6. Desire. Use your desire as a sense of direction. Follow it and your intense curiosity.

7. Break out from Limiting Beliefs. When you develop the habit of challenging any belief that blocks happiness and success you move out of the prison of lack into the space of miracles.

Prosperity is an inside job. The greatest experience of prosperity comes with knowing you are enough and you have enough to give to others. It may be your love, your time, a job, encouragement, knowledge or money. Circulate your gifts wisely. They will grow and come back to you.

Additional Resources:
October BREAKOUT Coach Training in Palm Springs. If there is a way you can do it, be there! This is a once in a lifetime opportunity to learn how to break out from poverty and lack to abundance and the space of miracles. I have NO plans to offer it again. There are 8 spaces open. Does one have your name on it?

Check out 50 Beliefs About Money. Which ones are holding you back? It’s free.

Cheering you on to happy prosperity!


Wednesday, August 10, 2011

BREAKOUT to Miracles Radio Show

On Thursday, 8/11 from 12 -1:00 pm PDT Hay House radio will air "BREAKOUT to Miracles" with Michael Neill and me.

You know how sometimes you just sort of talk then wait your turn while someone else does? Then sometimes you have a conversation? You think new thoughts, learn new stuff, have a good laugh or two, share some useful information. The time flies by and you wish all of your friends could have been there.

This was one of those conversations and you can all listen in! Woo Hoo!

I'd love to know what you think so please leave comments.

Here's the link. Breakout to Miracles Radio Show

It will be archived so you can listen at your convenience in the next few days.

To many happy miracles!

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Do You Dare To Be Present?

I recently watched Todd Haynes’ “I’m Not There”. Extraordinary actors like Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Cate Blanchett and Richard Gere create characters that represent different aspects of Bob Dylan’s life. The film explores the conflict between the ever-changing Dylan and outraged fans and critics who wanted to define him and keep him that way.

I can’t say I loved it. Can’t even recommend it. But it has stayed with me as a complex, rich lesson about being present in your life – often in conflict with other people’s expectations. It reminded me of a line from the est training, “Most likely you are perfect the way you are; you just keep acting the way you used to be.”

The more well known you are, the more success you achieve, the more people demand you “be” what they define you as. What is an operative word here because that way of relating to each other objectifies and depersonalizes us.

When you make healthy changes in your life or even totally transform some aspect of yourself it may require courage and patience to interact with friends, family, co-workers and fans who feel betrayed that you are not the same person they signed up to be with.

It can be painful, especially if you believe it’s wrong to be different today from how you were yesterday or last year – or for someone you love or work with to evolve into someone new. Consider the alternative. All creativity, life and growth exist only in the here and now. To keep acting the way we used to be chokes the life-force right out of us. It leaves us bored and frustrated or zombie-like.

It can be a great adventure to discover which relationships can flex and grow as we do and which ones cannot withstand the strain of the stretch.

I remember when I asked Doug Wilson, director to the wonderful Rowe Conference Center, to take ‘warm’ out of my bio. I didn’t want to be cold. I just didn’t want to attract people who functioned like heat-seeking missiles any more. Something shifted. Being clear and useful grew in importance. Being warm, not so much.

At 70, I’m becoming an old person. It’s very interesting. I’ve never been an old person before. When I am present with who and where I am now, it’s as exciting as any other phase of my life. When it doesn’t fit the way I used to be, I feel diminished, just less that I was.

Take a moment to pause. I will too. Notice what it is like to be you. Right here. Right now. Like you have never been before.

As shiver of excitement traveled through my body and remains tingling in my heart. What is happening with you?

Cheering you on to be here now.

With love,

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Breakout to Inner Kindness

I stubbed my toe yesterday, the little one. It really hurt.

I exclaimed right out loud. "Whoa-oo, that really hurts."
My inner meanie voice said "Oh, you are such a sissy."

Filled with doubt about my very senses, I wondered if
I am a big sissy. Pain is so subjective, you know.

Marshalling my sensory and intellectual faculties, I realized
My poor toe did hurt. I also wondered why I would say
such a mean thing to myself.

Can you imagine seeing a friend in pain and the best thing
you can come up with is "Oh, you are such a sissy!"?

I like this example. It is a short and clear(albeit mild)version
of the cruelty people inflict on themselves every day.It surprised me, because I thought I had left those self-chiding remarks in the dust long ago.

I remember a time, when I set out to teach that mean old voice a lesson in inner kindness. I consciously corrected it when I caught it saying "You stupid bitch!"--which it actually used to say fairly often. I would say out loud, "I am not." Sometimes I would follow that with "I'm actually
quite bright."

This little private practice did not require discipline. As
I became more conscious of the inner meanie voice, I
simply wanted to set things straight. It was fun. The voice
quieted down. I enjoyed noticing how ridiculous the meanie
judgments were.

I am grateful for the first glimmer of consciousness that
made me aware of the meanie voice and alerted me to
the common practice of self-chastisement.

My clients often say "I beat myself up" when they
want to change something or disapprove of themselves
in some way.

I'm an inward bound explorer so I ask them what they
mean and how they do it. Their answers often shock me.

It turns out that what goes on inside a lot of us makes my
meanie voice sound like a kindly kindergarten teacher.

They describe lying in bed at night raging at themselves.
They walk around cursing themselves, damning themselves,
threatening themselves.

The really weird thing is that they cannot imagine
not 'beating themselves up.' It often seems justified
by some mistake or failure they detect in themselves. They
see it as motivating themselves to do better.

I've never seen it work once. Cruelty is debilitating and demoralizing. It crushes desire and creativity.

I am on a crusade to stop cruel and unusual punishment
of the self and others. I have worked with lots of people.
I wrote two books and lots of articles discouraging the
practice of attempted motivation by misery.

If you suspect you are the victim and perpetrator of misery
motivation, what to do? Listen, listen, listen to that voice
inside. The one that just said "What voice?"

Be firm, but gentle with it. Tell it that it may not speak to you that way. Refuse to accept it. If the beat-you-up voice points out something you do want to change or improve, let it know you do not respond well to cruelty.

I'll bet you will have more happy times and fewer painful ones.

Oh, and about that sissy business? My toe is black now
and I didn't even cry! Pretty brave, huh?It is getting better quickly,
thank you.

To your inner kindness!


There are 10 spaces open in the October BREAKOUT Coach Training
and lots of kindly happiness resources in the Breakout Store

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Betty Ford Helped Me Make Peace with My Past

When I signed on to speak about "Making Peace with the Past" at the Betty Ford Center in Rancho Mirage I had no idea what I was in for. The large audience at the free "Alcohol and Addiction Awareness Hour" ranges from professionals in the field to folks who have only a few days clean and sober. They can be a twitchy group.

I had been warned that many people would leave during the hour and a half I was supposed to fill. The room is wide and shallow so when they get up and go they have to push past a whole lot of people to get out of their row. Right in front of me!

I knew all of that going in. What I didn't know was how hard it would be to share intimate details of my life  as an adult child of an alcoholic with a room full of alcoholics. Talk about deja vue!

I guess it always takes courage to reveal yourself for the benefit of people who do not welcome the information. Imagine what it was like for our First Lady to say "My name is Betty Ford and I am an alcoholic."

There were a couple of moments as my past seemed to blend with the present when I just wanted to walk off the stage. But I didn't.

Toward the end I shared a story about when I graduated from high school and my mother sent my father away because he was drunk.

When it was finally over, I was amazed at the crowd around the book table eagerly lining up to have me sign their copies of "Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs." A large man approached me. "That was for me," he said. "That was me at my son's graduation from high school, looking through a chain link fence with a bottle in my hand."

We hugged each other and held on for a long time. Sharing some tears, we both made peace with the past in a way we never dreamed of.

I will always be grateful to the courage and contribution of Betty Ford and the support of my friends Catherine Rush and Debra Lux who helped through that wonderful day!

The audio, "Making Peace with the Past: Recorded Live at the Betty Ford Center" and Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs" are available at

Cheering you on to peace with your past and present!


Monday, July 11, 2011

Join Me In Palm Springs

Join Me in Palm Springs?

Who will get the most from the October Breakout
Coach Training in Palm Springs? The ones who come!

Learn how to open doors you did not know you closed
and walk through to miracles. The next door you open
may be the one that brings you to the Breakout Coach

There are 12 spaces open. The discount deadline looms!
You have until this Friday, 7/15 to take $100 off the already
(some say too low) low tuition.

See you in Palm Springs?

Cheering you on to open doors wherever you are!

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Courage and Conviction of Betty Ford

Remembering the courage and contribution of Betty Ford who died today at the Eisenhower Medical Center in Rancho Mirage, California. The Betty Ford Center is located there. It has helped addicts get clean and sober, "one step at a time" since 1982.

I had the honor of speaking there about the importance of making "Peace with the Past: Recorded Live at the Betty Ford Center" The man who introduced me was part of the intervention team who dared to confront the First Lady about her drinking.

It always takes courage to "come out of the closet" as someone society judges harshly. Can you imagine what it would be like to say "My name is Betty Ford and I am an alcoholic?"

The audio of my talk is available in the Breakout Store at my website.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Unblock the Strongest Motivation

Desire marks the path! I'm pretty sure desire functions as a sense of direction that will lead us perfectly through life. We just have to correct our course as new information becomes available.

I saw a video of my 11 month old granddaughter's triumphant climbing of a steep flight of stairs on her way to bed. If I had not been convinced before, it erased
all doubt; desire is the strongest form of motivation! That little girl just wanted to get to the top.

What governs desire? Warps it? Impedes its natural function? The limiting and life-extinguishing beliefs we form as we climb the stairs of life keep us from reaching the top.. Limiting beliefs about relationships, money, and other important areas of life like these:
  • I need to feel ashamed or I will do things I do not want to do. Do not want to do is the operative here!
  • If I don't feel bad, it means I don't care.
  • I won't have any money to put in an IRA anyway.
  • If I make a lot of money and lose it I'll feel really bad for a long, long time.
  • Nobody in this family is ever going to get anywhere.
  • If you loved me you would ______ (basically do whatever I think is a measure of love).
These beliefs and ones like them will crush the desire from you own heart and cripple your motivation. Break out from them and you enter the space of miracles.

Another enemy of desire is our own disapproval. Sometimes our true desire is not to achieve some lofty goal. Maybe just in this moment all you want is to curl up and give up. Instead of something on your ought-to-do list you may want to learn something you are intensely curious about that does not seem practical. Sometimes you want to reach out to someone for no apparent reason.

 The belief based fear is that it would be a permanent choice. It would mean that we would never get out of bed again, never stop reading about that new subject or make a foolish phone call we would regret later. The exact opposite is usually true! When we follow those right now desires, we can nurture and revitalize ourselves in a few hours or days. 

Helping someone to open a door he never knew he closed thrills me every time. When desire kicks in despite all odds against it, people light up with inspiration from within.

I am, by nature, much more of an explorer than a lecturer. I like to find the questions that open doors. One of my favorite questions is, what might you be concerned would happen if you do what you want to do? And do not do what you do not want to do?

Try it for a day, an hour, whatever you dare. Include wanting in order to get a result, like wanting to finish a job so you can get paid. Or do the dishes so the kitchen will be clean. See what happens. I'd love to hear.


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Millions Watch Good Coaching

Last night 11.81 million people saw what working with a good coach can do. Where? They tuned in to NBC’s new block buster, “The Voice.” It puts a new spin on the old talent show model – sustained coaching by a pro.

Industry professionals, Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine, Christina Aguilera, and Blake Shelton coach the singers on their teams week by week as long as they last in the competition. They support, inspire, encourage, push and prod their protégés to reach new heights each week. It’s amazing to watch these accomplished performers share their insights and experience then witness the results in live performances.

The coaching movement is spreading throughout the world. For so long, if you wanted help with the business of living, therapy was the only option. Based on a disease model, it requires a diagnosis. But what if you aren’t sick? What if you just want to learn a lot of things you don’t know from an expert who does?

We are all coaches. You may be coaching a first grader through learning how to read, an Olympic athlete, or a CEO to a better bottom line. Perhaps you are working with a friend who is looking for a job, sharing your sobriety in a 12 Step Program. We all have the opportunity to pass on what we know to someone who wants to learn it.

For the last two years I’ve been privileged to be on the faculty of Michael Neill’s Supercoach Academy. I shared my Breakout to Miracles work with coaches from all over the world for a day and a half. The experience left me eager for more. I want go deeper with a smaller group.

I cannot imagine anything that would add more value to your life or enrich your coaching more than the ability to recognize, explore, and break out from limiting beliefs to happiness, success and miracles! That is why I put together the October BREAKOUT Coach Training in Palm Springs. I’m thrilled with the opportunity and eager to share it with the 24 people who will get the most from it and bring the most to it.

Is that you?

Cheering you on to coaching adventures wherever you are!


For more info about the amazing Supercoach Academy for 2012

Monday, June 20, 2011

Book Breakout!

All of you authors out there, forget the limiting belief that you need an agent and a publisher to get your book out there. John Locke just became the first self-published author to break the million copy e-book barrier.

It is a brand new world out there, a very very large one.

Cheering you on to great success and happiness.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Happy Father's Day

I did not know my father very well. He was a serious alcoholic and we drifted apart. Then my son, Barnaby was born. There he is just a few days old.

By some miracle of connection my father's and my letters crossed in the mail. It was so much easier sharing baby Barnaby than our painful past. Thank you Barnaby!

My father died. And I confess to a bit of nostalgia on Father's Day.

Then Barnaby and Sheri had a baby! It takes a few divorces to manage it, but Emery has seven grandparents! We were all together to welcome her.

Life is so filled with miracles. I never anticipated the rich, wondrous experience my son has brought to my life. I certainly never imagined what it would be like to see him become a father himself.

On your first Father's Day, Barnaby, I wish you, Sheri, and baby Emery all of the love and joy that life has to offer.

Here's to the nurturing, protecting spirit of fathers everywhere and in each one of us.


Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Breakout Coach Training

You are invited to a special event with Mandy Evans.

Breakout Coach Training
October 27-30 ● Palm Springs, California ● Limit, 24 Participants

When you are clear and happy you make different choices. They lead down remarkably different paths from the ones you pick when you are afraid or caught in a web of life-extinguishing beliefs.
Knowing how to break out from beliefs that cause emotional pain and block success has transformed my life. I cannot imagine anything that would add more value to your life and your coaching career than being able to recognize and break out from limiting beliefs to happiness, success and miracles!

That is why I designed The BREAKOUT Coach Training for:
• Experienced and new coaches
• Counselors
• Teachers
• Therapists
• People in the healing professions
• Committed students of human potential

My work with people from all walks of life, including some of the most successful coaches in the business, confirms how priceless it is to work through fears and self doubt. The ability to coach someone through limiting beliefs is equally important - and as rare as hen's teeth!

Join us in Palm Springs!

Breakout Coach Training
October 27-30 ● Palm Springs, California ● Limit, 24 Participants
Tuition: $875 (After July 15)
Take advantage of the early registration discount of $100 and pay only $775.
Register now:

Learn how to:
• Use breakout dialogues to coach people through fear and doubt that keeps them stuck
• Work with individual belief systems in a deep and meaningful way
• Recognize hidden beliefs that block happiness and success
• Break out from the beliefs that hold you and your clients back
• Expand your ability to work in the miracle-attracting space of acceptance
• Distinguish desire from attachment
• Present yourself and your work comfortably and confidently - see video op below!
• Tap into the strongest motivation we all have (and overcome the reluctance to use it)
• Make peace with the past and why it matters

This training provides:
• Extensive dialogue practice and constructive feedback
• Ample opportunities to explore your issues about success, relationships, money and other important areas of your life
• Limited class size of 24 people to assure individual attention
• A certificate of completion
• Follow up conference call in November to share experiences, answer questions, encourage and support each other

Video Presentation: Have you ever heard that to expand your career, "You need a quality video"? One of the training projects will be support and practice to communicate about yourself clearly and confidently. If you like, you can present yourself and your work for a 2 minute video. Award winning filmmaker, Bruce Feagle, will film parts of the training including those presentations. That is included in your tuition. If you like, Bruce will also create a DVD and a video file of your presentation with music and graphics, such as your contact info, for only $150. You can add this valuable marketing tool to your website or You Tube.

Tuition: $875. Early registration discount: $100 = $775 until July 15
To join us for this breakout adventure register now:

Meeting space and lodging: We will meet in a private banquet room that opens to a large courtyard at the foot of a 10,000 foot mountain. The hotel has given us such an astounding low rate they asked us not to mention it to other guests -- $85.00 per night for double or single occupancy. That includes a continental breakfast plus free shuttle service to and from the Palm Springs airport. You will receive a special rate code to use and more information after you register.

What people are saying:

I've been working with Mandy for more than 20 years. She is the clearest, happiest, and most effective miracle-maker I've ever known. She helps me get clear so I get results. I have never met anyone like her. I love her.
-Joe Vitale, author of "The Attractor Factor" and way too many other books to list here.

Whenever I'm feeling stuck and convinced I'll never get back into the flow, I turn to Mandy Evans - her deceptively simple questions are fast-acting, long-lasting, friendly and fun!
-Michael Neill, SuperCoach and best selling author of "You Can Have What You Want."

Mandy's workshops have helped me go for it in every area of my life. She has given me wonderful tools to release limiting beliefs and open to the larger flow of the universe. I now embrace life fully, and look forward to each new adventure.
-Sonia Gunderson

Sometimes just learning more information is not enough. We need to take action- change our thinking, beliefs, attitudes and behaviors. Taking Mandy's Break Out weekend helped me to realize how and why I was holding myself back from a fuller life, not facing certain difficulties, and to reconnect to my inner Spirit of daring and joyous living. Inspired and 'breakout' determined, I have now completed a huge project avoided for 10 years! Also, by taking the necessary steps to action and believing in my core of joy.
-Laura Silva, M.A., LicMHC, Awakening Coach and Intuitive Psychotherapist

The BREAKOUT weekend experience was life changing for me personally and professionally. Mandy's gift for teaching and practicing the BREAKOUT Option Method is brilliant. If something is not working in your life you can be sure somewhere behind it is a self-defeating belief. Wouldn't you like to know what that belief is? Happiness IS only a thought away.
-Dr. Robert Edelburg, The Palm Springs Healing Center

Limited to 24 participants, to guarantee your space register now:

See you in Palm Springs!

Friday, June 10, 2011

Why Bother with Those Pesky Beliefs

Why Bother with Beliefs? Positive ones. Negative ones.
Limiting, self-defeating ones. Why bother with those all
those pesky beliefs anyway?

Because what you believe effects every choice you make.

Every day we humans grin with delight or feel our hearts
break; we suit up or give up, get married or divorced, take
jobs, quit jobs, make peace or go to war because of what
we believe. We make important life decisions operating
from a hidden program we are not even aware we have.

Intense emotions sweep through us. Sometimes they stay longer
than we like. All because of our belief systems, our individual
versions of reality.

That is why I encourage you to pay attention to your beliefs.
Learn to question every emotion you do not like feeling; you
will find your beliefs. What is that emotion about? Why is
that the way to feel? What are you concerned would happen
if you did not feel that way?

Challenge every limit to following your heartfelt desire. You
will uncover the beliefs that hold you back. Nurture the tingling
awareness of what you want to attract to you and move toward.
It will lead you through life learning everything you need to
know as you go.

If I sound unusually impassioned today, I am.

Why? Because I do not believe beliefs are important. I know
they are! And very few people are paying much attention,
except you! Thank you so much for your interest, encouragement
and support. Your awareness is important. Your open minded
curiosity will change your life and the lives of those you touch.

Would you like to go much deeper and learn a whole lot more
about how to break out to success, happiness and miracles?
Come to the BREAKOUT Coach Training in Palm Springs,
October 27-30. I will train 24 people how to indentify and break
out from beliefs that hold them back.

Designed for both new and experienced coaches, teachers,
therapists and people in the healing professions the course is open
to all committed students. Everyone is a coach to someone,
especially ourselves.

An announcement goes out next week with a discounted early
registration tuition of $775. The course may fill quickly. If you
want to come and be sure you have a space, let me know.

Have a wonderful weekend!


The BREAKOUT Store is Open. Check it out:

Friday, May 27, 2011

Remembrance and Reconciliation

Did you know memorial day began as a time of remembrance and reconciliation to honor soldiers from both sides of the American Civil War? First known as Decoration Day, by the early 20th century it became a time to visit and decorate the graves of family members.

My grandmother guarded every blossom in our yard from plucking before that last weekend in May. Then we I loaded up the car with peonies, roses, lilacs and tulips and drove out to the Rockville Cemetary. We visited old graves of relatives I never knew and the newer one of my paternal grandfather, even though my parents were divorced, in the true spirit of remembrance.

All 4 of my grandparents are buried there now, some of my mother's ashes scattered, all of my aunts and uncles and 3 cousins though I am the first born. My heart feels very full with sweet memories of them and the soft scent of roses, peonies and lilacs

Happy Memorial day Weekend. With all of the usual celebrations I wish you a time of sweet remembrance, reconciliation and spring flowers.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

New Breakout Tools

The BREAKOUT STORE is open! It's full of tools to
break out to success, happiness and miracles at

I sorted through hours of material, editing and digitalizing
to give you the best of what I've learned from my life's
work. I put it online and priced everything way low so
everyone can afford it.

What's there?

"Beliefs About Love" Stop sabotaging Cupid with a
fresh look at love.

Peace with the Past" recorded at the Betty Ford Center
reveals deeply personal details of my journey as the daughter
of a violent alcoholic father and how I made peace with my
own past.

"Choosing Happiness" provides a complete overview of
the Option Method and a rare opportunity to listen to actual
real-life Option Dialogues.

The "Breakout to Miracles" video was recorded live at the
amazing Miracles Weekend with Joe Vitale in San Diego.
The entire talk is here along with the standing ovation!
Miracles abound! Learn how to accept yours.

My books, "Emotional Options" and "Travelling Free"
are there too, filled with workshop-tested exercises and
insights, they work like your own work-shop-in-a-book.

If you want to break out from prison you need some tools.
When the prison is of your own making, built with beliefs
that block your happiness and clamp limits on your
success, that old hack saw we see in the movies won't
help at all. Go to The Breakout Store and get some new

It is important! Why?

With every false conclusion you come to you fence out a
bit of freedom. Every time you adopt a erroneous belief
about who you are, what you can have and the nature our
world, you rule out countless possibilities. Little by little
as you go through life you confine yourself in a smaller
and space with fewer opportunities. Often the space is
filled with fear, anger, regret, or guilt.

We all do it! But few of us become aware of how our own
belief systems have to shape our lives. Those of us who
share these messages have broken out of solitary
confinement for sure. I think the breakouts are infinite and
love to hear about yours. I'm grateful for your insights
and enouragement.

Please share this with anyone who could use some good
breakout tools.

To your happiness and success!



Comments welcome! Thanks to Bruce Feagle for all sorts of creative and technical help.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Breakout from Regret

Regret works like swallowing a bit of poison every day.
It destroys your health and well-being. It closes down
your view of life, blocking out opportunities and beauty.
Habitual regret exacts an enormous toll but delivers no

A man I'll call Tom taught me my first lesson about
regret. He showed how experiences from long ago fire
up a feeling like the replay of a video - only in real life.

If you want to find beliefs that block happiness start
with a strong feeling you do not like having. Identify
the feeling and question it.

That takes courage because when you question an
emotion with an open mind you enter into uncharted
territory. When I work with people neither one of us
knows what we will discover and go through together.
Years of explorations have taught me that the feeling
we are looking at will most likely come alive while
we study it.

The feeling Tom did not like having was rage. We began
asking questions. I did not have the answers, but Tom

What are you feeling rage about?
My childhood.

What about your childhood?
My mother died when I was twelve. I was the oldest of
five kids and my father always wanted me to take care
of them. His idea of taking care was being in charge of
them. They resented it. They hated me.

What about that leads to rage?
I felt like I only had two choices, disappoint my dad or
make my brothers and sisters hate me.

What about that involves rage?
Tom's body trembled with anger. He spoke through
clenched teeth and began to cry.

Because I'll never know! I'll never know who I would be
if I'd just been free to be a kid. I'll never know.

What about not knowing who you would be if your childhood
had been different leads to rage?

Though I've seen this look many times it always moves me deeply.
Tom's rage slowly dissolved. After a quiet moment he moved
into a sort of soft bewilderment. That's the space of creativity
where the way it was is gone and the new way can come
into being.

He smiled and said simply, I don't know. I don't feel it now.
I guess none of us knows who we would be if things had
been different.

That was a beginning of many explorations for Tom and
for me.

I began to notice the power of regret in the lives of my
students, my friends and myself. For some of us it lingered
as sadness, for others an abiding sense of shame, for many
the default feeling was anger or even rage.

What belief held these feelings in place? What kept them
alive so long?

Since we each create a unique belief system as we go through
life I found many beliefs. There was one belief though, that
everyone held that fed the feelings of regret: If that regrettable
thing or circumstance had not happened, I'd be me, with
my life, only it would be better.

The kinds of better differ; I'd be more confident, successful,
stronger, more beautiful, have more money, be unashamed,
fearless, lovable.

That belief, I would be me, with my life, only better, is not true!
You can't change one puzzle piece in real life and come up with the
same picture only prettier. The whole thing changes. Your life would
be completely different. We have no idea what it would be like. How do you
regret a complete unknown?

Instead of wondering what caused things to happen, Bruce Di
Marsico (founder of the Option Method) liked to ponder, I
wonder what this will be for? I like to ask, what would I like
this to be for, what do I want to come from this?

If there is something you regret you may want to ask those two
questions too. I'd love to hear what you find. Post comments at

Wishing you happiness, success and freedom from regret!


Sunday, February 27, 2011

Vision and Action

“Vision without action is a daydream. Action without a vision is a nightmare.”

This anonymous “tweet” packs more wisdom about how to create your life than I learned in my first 30 years. For most of them I bounced off the walls of disaster. I reacted and recoiled. The only purposeful moves I made were toward isolated, specific goals I created in an unconscious prison of limiting beliefs. Beliefs about what I could have. Who I could be. How I must feel.

Beyond stories of saints and madmen, I had no idea what a vision was. It never occurred to me to consider what kind of life I wanted to create much less a game plan with action.

My daydreams played out fleeting moments, mostly half conscious fantasies that came to me unbidden.

Since I began to work with them so long, long ago I have learned a lot about how to break out from limiting beliefs that block happiness and keep people stuck in anger, fear, resentment, guilt and other painful emotions. It has been thrilling to witness courageous seekers strip away beliefs that block success, to see them flourish and thrive.

When you see for yourself, with certainty, that something you have believed for a long time is simply not true you move through confusion into a more open field. It’s the one the Persian poet, Rumi, talks about when he says, “Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing, there is a field. I will meet you there.”

It is a wonderful open space filled with possibilities for your creativity to mold into unique form and experience. Few people go there after childhood. We cling instead to illusions of certainty like our ideas of right doing, believing that (even false) certainty provides security.

I know a lot about how to get to that open field. I’m just beginning to learn how to combine vision and action to harness the vast power of conscious creation available there.

I can almost feel the boundaries between me and infinite possibilities. Though I perceive only a tiny glimpse of what is possible for one human to create in real life on planet earth it is more than I ever imagined for much of my life.

The time we spend together in that field of possibilities reminds me of the less known lines of the Rumi poem:

“When the soul lies down in that grass,
The world is too full to talk about.
Ideas, language, even the phrase, each other
Doesn’t make any sense.”

Cheering us on to great visions and inspired action!
With love,

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Breakout to Love

Do you greet the approach of Valentine's day
with joy? Or dread? Or something in between?

With a whole day dedicated to celebrating
love most of us focus on romantic love. What
to give or get? On what it means if we don't
have a sweetheart. Or didn't get a rose or a
dozen roses. It can all be very stressful, even
heartbreaking if you hold limiting beliefs about

There's an easy fix; celebrate all kinds of love.

I love Valentine's day and sending Valentines.
So I'm sending one to you with a very long stemmed
rose from my patio!

Wishing you an open heart overflowing with all
kinds of love, like the love I feel for you
right now.

And brotherly love, sisterly, fatherly, motherly,
grandmotherly, co-workerly, son and daughterly,
we-are-all-one love, spiritual love, sexy love,
happy love, grieving love, caring love, generous
love, curious, wondering, friendly, blessing,
compassionate, grateful, forgiving, and romantic

All kinds of love!

Happy Valentine's Day!

With love,

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Break Out from this Futile Fight

Don't fight reality, use it.

Reality changes all of the time. We can fight it, deny it, complain about it or use it. I recommend using it. Especially since reality does not give a fig about what we think of it. It just is.

Complaining about, fearing and railing against reality it only raises blood pressure and increases tension. It limits creativity.

But you can change reality! Especially your own. You can lose weight, gain financial success, get out of debt, become more loving, move to another town or country, get married, get divorced – well you get the picture.

Helping to change someone else’s reality (like sharing resources or sound advice) is more of a challenge but often worth the effort. Since it is almost impossible to alter someone else’s reality without their cooperation I suggest skipping that endeavor all together!

Here’s an example of how to use reality. A flurry of inflation warnings made financial news today. Some of us will worry and complain others will take advantage of this new reality.

We can bemoan the price of coffee or buy coffee stocks. You can open an online brokerage account for as little as $500. There is even an EFT (electronically traded fund) just for coffee, symbol BAL. Not recommending, just sayin’.

If interest rates go up, the price of bonds will go down. Sell bonds? Redouble efforts to pay off credit cards? Buy real estate, as in “buy low, sell high?”

That is just one example of how to break out from a futile fight against reality.

Here are some others:
• Stop complaining about what is and invest some energy in what you want to attract or move toward.

• If your friends take advantage of you, put your foot down and say no and/or find some thoughtful new friends.

• If someone betrays your trust, instead of trying to make him be more loyal factor in that information when you interact next time.

• If you do not like where you live, move!

• If your boss is a total pain find a better a way to communicate with her or start look for another job.

• If you want more love in your life, be more loving. Just sitting quietly to send love and blessings to people you care about changes you and the energy you share with others.

• Denying reality does not delay it or make it go away. Denial is not a river in Egypt.

The most important, powerful change you can make is your own limiting beliefs. When you regularly uncover and break out from beliefs you hold that block success and happiness you step into a whole new world. Your view of reality opens up. You can see amazing possibilities that used to be obscured by self-defeating beliefs.

Reality rocks! Use it well.

Please share this with anyone who might benefit.

Cheering you on to success and happiness with love,

Author of:
“Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs”
“Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness”
Available at