Beyond Regret

Regret gone wrong! It probably takes about 3 minutes of feeling troubled by something that happened in order to gain whatever you need to know from regret. Along about minute 4, you begin to pour salt on a wound. After a few days, it begins to fester and after years, repetitive, ongoing regret wounds to the bone -- and heart. It blocks happiness and creativity.

Ongoing regret, the kind people replay as they go to sleep (or, more likely lie awake yearning for rest and release) serves no healthy purpose, unless it motivates you to learn from experience. Only you do not have to feel bad in order to learn. Desire to learn works much better. Desire also feels good while you absorb life's many mysterious lessons.

Re-played regret is based on a lie we believe with all our hearts: If only I hadn't done that, everything in my life that I like would stay the same, but the things I don't like would be different.

For example:
I would not be so alone
I would not struggle with money
I would be rich
I would be famous
I would be healthy

In the throes of regret we believe all of the puzzle pieces would remain the same, except for the ones we don't like. That belief, causing so much pain, I would be me, with my life, only so much better, is not true! You can’t change one puzzle piece in real life and come up with the same picture, only prettier. The whole thing changes. Your life would be completely different. We have no idea what it would be like.


You would meet different people, think different thoughts, learn different lessons, pass different tests, step up to a different obstacle -- or in front of a different bus! You would find a different way through, learn a different skill-set, be exposed to different temptations -- an infinity of difference.


Every step you take leads down a unique road to a different, ever-changing destination, filled with experiences only you will have. "If you want to change your life,  all you have to do, is turn, perhaps ever so slightly, and take the very next step in a new direction." -- "Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs." (Available in print, for Kindle and PDF Download at http://mandyevans.com/archives/travelling-free/ )

It's your time and you can choose how to spend it. If recurrent regret eats up too much of your precious life check to see if you have fallen for the one puzzle piece myth. Notice if there is something you want to learn from a past experience. How can you learn it? Would it be OK with you if the rest of your life fill fills up with happiness, success, love and miracles?!


Cheering you on with love, 
Mandy

Unloading Burdens from the Past

There is no greater burden than a tool that is no longer useful. Yet most of us carry obsolete tools that served us in the past, all through our lives. They weigh us down. Every time we reach for a heavy, worn-out tool that worked long ago we rule out one that would work. We limit our chances for success today. It's kind of like trying to use smoke signals to get on the internet. You drag the wood in. You light the fire. You send the puffs up, just the way you learned, but nothing comes back and nobody clicks "like".

What keeps us reaching for something that hasn't worked for ages?

·         It's familiar. We know where to find it and what to do with it.

·         It worked before.  

·         It keeps us from having to face the unknown.

Unfortunately, many of the tools and strategies that saved us as children only hurt us as adults. Just like the proverbial trash, one person's burdensome tool can be someone else's treasured key to success.

Here are some examples of old tools and new possibilities

Defending your fears.

Explore them; perhaps they do not protect you from danger.

Getting  angry when you do not like what happens.

Focus on what you want instead. Ask for it. Reach for it.

Pleasing people you do not really enjoy being with.

Wish them well and release them to find someone who welcomes their company.

Holding a grudge.

If you can see that we are all doing the best we can with what we believe, it's easier to move on.

Feeling ashamed of failure.

Wear it as a bright badge of courage and learn from the research lab of life.

Doing everything yourself.

Ask for help when it enhances your project or your experience.

Always asking for help.

See if you can figure some of this out yourself; you'll be so proud!

Enduring pain you still feel from the past.

Ask what the experience means to you and uncover the beliefs you adopted that may not be true, even though you have lived by them as if they are real. Freedom from the pain of the past is possible!

Lighten up! When you unload burdens from your past, you open doors you may not know you closed. You can see opportunities and adventures where before there was only the gray fog of frustration, resignation or even despair. Miracles can come in if you let them.

What are some old beat-up, battered, heavy tools you carry around? Can you think of a replacement? Remember, any new tool may take some practice to master.

For more ways to breakout from the past, you can read my book, "Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs" now available in print, for Kindle and as a downloadable PDF e-book at http://mandyevans.com/archives/travelling-free/

To your en-lightened happiness and success!

Love,

Mandy

Does Someone Make A difference In Your Life?

An email arrived a few days ago from someone who read my segment in "The Secret" by Joe Vitale. It touched me deeply and reminded me of two important things:

1. Why I do what I do. Not so people can get a new car, or more money (though those are fine fun things to get) but so we can see what matters and share what we learn so we can have paradise on earth. Why not?
2. How important it is to acknowledge those who contribute to out lives and our world. If someone makes a difference in your life, tell them! Thanks them! Review their stuff! on Amazon or Trip Advisor. "Like" their posts. Send them a card. Find a way to let them know they matter because it will help them to weather the storms of harsh criticism and thrive for the benefit of us all.

Here's the email; someone struggled with a foreign language to deliver this eloquent message.

Thanks to Sara and to you for the wonderful contribution you make to so many live, especially mine!

Hello I wish,

I am from Slovakia.This is small country in Europe.I do not know English well so sorry for mistakes.I read key, the secret of all.I know that you are receiving such e-mails a lot but I want to thank you for what you do.You really helped me realize what is important in my life and make the first step to change themselves and gradually the world a better.

Thank you so much.

Sara

Sharing Happiness for My Birthday

My birthday is April 3and here's what I want:

To share happiness in all of it's amazing forms,

like curiosity, joy, rapture, bliss, peace, love,

ecstacy, wonder, awe!

I would like to contribute

to a happier you in a happier world.

So "How To Be Happy: Four Easy

Ways" goes public! Now on YouTube, no pass

word required. Here's the link.

http://mandyevans.com/how-to-be-happy-four-easy-ways/

The birthday gift I want most is for you to take

a look, share the link, and help me celebrate with happiness!

To Our Happiness!

Love,

Mandy