Sunday, April 6, 2014

I Learned Everything I Need to Know About Attachment from Flowers

Flowers can teach us all we need to know about how to enjoy life without attachment. 




These tulips arrived on my birthday, tightly closed. 

My friend and I enjoyed them at breakfast. Then we 
brought them in. They turned toward the sun.














Today, their heads droop. They will not last long. 

Tomorrow they will begin to wilt and die. 

Shall we enjoy life, like tulips, so beautiful, 
such a gift -- just for now?

Love, 
Mandy



Sunday, March 9, 2014

Anger Increases the Risk of Heart Attack 5X

A new Harvard study shows that angry outbursts may increase the risk of a heart attack by 5 times! The risk continues for up to two hours after the incident, whether the anger is expressed or not. The study also concluded that anger amped up the risk for a stroke 3 fold.

My years of work with BreakOut students convinces me that most anger is belief-driven, not the natural, healthy fight or flight response that maximizes our chances to survive. Ironic, isn't it, that the same emotion can protect us or destroy us?

When someone (and everyone around him/her) suffers from chronic anger, they usually operate from self-defeating beliefs such as:

  • If I weren't angry, I wouldn't stand up for myself
  • IT makes me angry; outside forces cause my anger
  • Anybody would be mad about this... (fill in the blank)
  • It's a knee-jerk reaction beyond my control

Efforts to override belief-driven anger do not work very well. You have to find the beliefs that fuel it. Then you can drain the tank by removing them.

Think of all of the people taking drugs to prevent heart attacks and strokes, while risking  heart attacks and strokes every day by exploding (blood vessels literally) in anger.

Two resources to break out from anger:

"Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness" explains how to find the beliefs that fuel anger (and other unwelcome emotions) and how to drain the tank by disproving them. These beliefs are unique. Each of us has to find our own. Otherwise knowing it's bad for your health may only compound the problem.
Emotional Options: http://mandyevans.com/archives/emotional-options/

"How to Be Happy: Exercise Your Emotional Options" On Thursday, March 27th at 2:00PM PDT, I will discuss some ideas to help you begin to exercise your emotional options. Check out my free 10 Big Ideas + join us live here:  http://bit.ly/1fLE5GP .

This live streaming video class will cover lots of ways to breakout from limiting beliefs that keep us stuck in painful, unhealthy emotions.

Cheering you on to happiness and health!

Friday, March 7, 2014

How to Be Happy NOW!

How to Be Happy: Exercise Your Emotional Options

Happiness is the end goal of all of our striving, yet we all know people who have achieved great success and still aren't happy. There's got to be more to it. What if you could be happier right now, even before you fix all of the things that seem wrong with your life or our world? Here are some ideas to help you begin to exercise your emotional options today. This class is dedicated to your happiness. 
This is my second course with entheos. I'm thrilled to share it with you. The 10 Big Ideas are FREE and so is the live class, March 27 at 2:00 PDT -- that's Pacific Daylight Time
Check out my Top 10 Big Ideas here
 http://bit.ly/1fLE5GP

Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Freedom from Fear of False Danger

Choosing examples for the new class, "How to Break Out from a Limiting Belief" at entheos Academy for Life, I settled on beliefs about fear. Many of us believe that being afraid protects us from danger. People who suffered trauma and abuse often maintain abiding faith in this fear as if it were a weapon they can never put down. Most of us harbor some fear, of rejection, humiliation, being judged. Maybe heights? Speaking in a group?

Imagine the toll this hyper-vigilant state takes. It bombards our bodies with autonomic and endocrine changes designed for self-preservation. But what if there is no danger?

Living in constant fear not only does not protect from peril, it diminishes your ability to discern actual threats to your well-being. It wears you out. It robs you of peace of mind and restorative rest. Chronic fear wreaks havoc with your ability to love and feel loved.

No matter where it came from, faith in fear will not save you! The ability to accurately discern and respond to danger helps. A healthy flight or fight response works wonders. Learning to avoid harmful people and situations works much better than coloring everything scary.

Here's one of mine. I dread asking anyone for anything, especially for something that  benefits me. It's easier to ask for someone else.

I've got ideas about where it came from but what I've done with it that has compounded the problem big time. I engineered my life around not having to ask. That led me to people who really liked that. That led...
well you get the picture, the impact of that kind of fear.

It's minor compared to the (often hidden) terror many people live with. But provides us with a good, clear example. Sure is one I know well. This is what I've come up with. It helps. I'm gaining on it.

  • Challenge your faith in fear
  • Learn to see real danger and respond to it
  • Avoid harmful people and situations
  • Seek nurturing, supportive environments
  • Relax, if just for a minute, and see what happens

When I feel that old familiar dread, I ask, "Is there any reason you don't want to do that other than because you're scared?" If the answer is answer "no" I do it. Sometimes I have to schedule it on my calendar. I'm talking really little stuff, like calling CreateSpace (Amazon's publishing company) to ask how many pages they require to put a title on the spine of a book. That took 10 days. The answer is 101 :-)!

The big idea is to stop honoring your fear of false danger as if it were some great wall. Challenge it. Walk right through it. Over and over again. You will build new memories and beliefs. When you discover that emperor really hasn't got any clothes, you will never have to blindly obey again. Fear really can turn into excitement!

Now I'm going to ask you for something. Please check out the new class, "How to Breakout from a Limiting Belief" and others at entheos. If you like it, help me spread the word. This is a brand new venture and adventure for me. I'm thrilled to share it with you. The courses there offer you real value.

The link to info about "How to BREAK Out from a Limiting Belief" is http://bit.ly/1dnTBG6

Join us this Thursday 2/20 at 2:00 pm pst. It's free to watch the live video. After that you can watch it at your convenience along with hundreds of courses to enrich the quality of this one precious life you have. Subscriptions are only $18.00 per month or $96 per year at this wonderful new school for life!

Let's stage a BREAKOUT!
About that asking? Heart beating fast, but feeling excited.


Friday, February 14, 2014

Send Love

Happy Valentine's Day! It's a wonderful day to send love.
This rose actually grew in my patio, like a gift from the universe. 


Sending it to you, in sunshine or in snow, with love!
Mandy

Monday, February 10, 2014

The Best People We Know Interview

Here's the link to listen to Deb Scott's interview with me on "How to Get Rid of Limiting Beliefs." She hosts a wonderful radio show, "The Best People We Know." We got so excited we kept interrupting each other. So much to learn, so little time! listen and learn with us.


New Self Help Podcasts with Best People We Know on BlogTalkRadio

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Friday, February 7, 2014

Embrace Change!

Embrace change! Give it a big hug and welcome it in. Change means you're alive.

"Let go or be dragged!" is a favorite quote.

Another -- "You can't hover. You either expand or contract."

I've been through an awful lot of changes. Sometimes I went kicking and screaming, other times grinning from ear to ear.

Shall we be like the flowers, growing from bud to bloom to fading away, sharing their beauty and sweetness Or gripe and moan, punishing ourselves and others on our way through this magical journey of life?

On my birthday, April 3, 2012 a test result, with good news, announced that my life would take a different path from the one I'd prepared for. The words to tell about it have not come easily. When I get them together, I'll share them. Meanwhile I'm inspired by flowers and you!


Love,
Mandy

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