I’m learning to cut my losses. As some of you know the year attending Adult Children of Alcoholics meetings inspired me to write “Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs.” There is a saying those of us who grew up in alcoholic or abusive families understand all too well, “We stick it out through thin and thin.”
Many of us from all sorts of backgrounds adopted limiting beliefs that caused us to endure, manage, make-do, tolerate and settle-for-less. We curtailed our dreams and visions without even knowing we did it.
It’s been a long, hard long lesson but I’m picking up steam. It’s becoming fun!
Persistence has it’s place. It’s very useful, and popular trait. Giving up is good too.
I trade stocks and options on the internet in the morning and actually relish selling with a small loss in stead of watching it drop day after day hoping for a come back. It frees up so much more money for profitable investments. I like to sell those too. No tree grows straight to the sky.
I’m changing the way I relate to people. Some of them don’t like it one bit. I can’t blame them if they move on to more compatible relationships. I bless them on their way.
A few years ago I told the director of a retreat center director to take “warm” out of my bio. Not that I want to be cold, I explained. I’m just not wanting to attract people who are specifically seeking warmth. I’m more interested in being clear, powerful, understanding and loving now – sort of temperature neutral when I teach.
I may even give up on those piles of things I’m going to read some day and get rid of the clutter in my office!
I hope this idea will help you too. Look around your life and inside yourself. Is there something you’d like to give up on? Call it quits and move on with love, joy and new inspiration.
Sometimes giving up is great!
Wishing you the wisdom to know just when to persist and just when to give up that which no longer serves you.
Love,
Mandy
Reminders:
“What’s Holding You Back and What to Do About It”
Friday 7/17, 10 AM to http://www.contacttalkradio.com/ . Click LISTEN NOW.
Dial in live toll free on 1-877- 230-3062 to be part of the show.
Can't make it Friday? FREE archives are available here:
http://tinyurl.com/Mandy-Elese
“Travelling Free” is also available on Kindle and Mobipocket
http://tinyurl.com/TFdigital
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Handle Absolutely Everything
Would you like “A New Way to Handle Absolutely Everything?” Elese Coit dedicates her radio show by that audacious name to making the ‘impossible’ imaginable and the ‘difficult’ do-able.
I enthusiastically accepted her invitation to discuss one of my favorite topics, “What’s holding You Back? (and What to Do About It!)”
Join us to discover a new way to handle any belief that limits you this Friday, July 17 at 10:00 AM Pacific Time.
What beliefs? The ones that block happiness, success, prosperity and love!
Miracles abound. Are you ready to accept them?
Here’s the info you need to listen free:
To listen on the day at 10 am Pacific time, 1 pm Eastern time simply go to http://www.contacttalkradio.com/
Click LISTEN NOW. Listeners can dial in live toll free on 1-877- 230-3062 to be part of the show.
Can't make it Friday? FREE archives are available here:
http://tinyurl.com/Mandy-Elese
Psst! Pass it on,
Love,
Mandy
http://www.mandyevans.com/
I enthusiastically accepted her invitation to discuss one of my favorite topics, “What’s holding You Back? (and What to Do About It!)”
Join us to discover a new way to handle any belief that limits you this Friday, July 17 at 10:00 AM Pacific Time.
What beliefs? The ones that block happiness, success, prosperity and love!
Miracles abound. Are you ready to accept them?
Here’s the info you need to listen free:
To listen on the day at 10 am Pacific time, 1 pm Eastern time simply go to http://www.contacttalkradio.com/
Click LISTEN NOW. Listeners can dial in live toll free on 1-877- 230-3062 to be part of the show.
Can't make it Friday? FREE archives are available here:
http://tinyurl.com/Mandy-Elese
Psst! Pass it on,
Love,
Mandy
http://www.mandyevans.com/
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Declare Your Own Independence
Do you want to win independence from something that limits your happiness and creativity? Maybe fear? Poverty? Loneliness? Resentment?
We all create prisons of one sort or another with our own belief systems. We don’t mean to do it. But it happens every time we adopt a belief that seems true but is not.
A Personal Declaration of Independence can be a powerful step on the path to freedom.
On a warm July night in the woods an angel ( a real one) helped me to declare my independence from a life-long fear of judgment.
The liberty I gained that night still grows as does my gratitude.
More people responded to the story of what happened that Independence Day than anything I ever sent out. You can read about it (free) on my website: http://tinyurl.com/myindependence.
Sharing a declaration empowers it. It makes it real. When other people join with you in your intention and cheer you on it works with the Law of Attraction to create miracles. If you would like to share your Personal Declaration of Independence here, I would love to read it and cheer you on. I know it will inspire and encourage others as well.
Happy Independence!
Love,
Mandy
We all create prisons of one sort or another with our own belief systems. We don’t mean to do it. But it happens every time we adopt a belief that seems true but is not.
A Personal Declaration of Independence can be a powerful step on the path to freedom.
On a warm July night in the woods an angel ( a real one) helped me to declare my independence from a life-long fear of judgment.
The liberty I gained that night still grows as does my gratitude.
More people responded to the story of what happened that Independence Day than anything I ever sent out. You can read about it (free) on my website: http://tinyurl.com/myindependence.
Sharing a declaration empowers it. It makes it real. When other people join with you in your intention and cheer you on it works with the Law of Attraction to create miracles. If you would like to share your Personal Declaration of Independence here, I would love to read it and cheer you on. I know it will inspire and encourage others as well.
Happy Independence!
Love,
Mandy
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
A Breakout from Fear
I plan my courses pretty carefully. But when we all show up and go live the real magic begins.
Almost always, a secret unplanned theme reveals itself. Something deeper than all the fliers and emails brings us together.
Last weekend a high percentage of the participants at Rowe had experienced severe abuse in their lives.
When some people courageously explored the beliefs that still imprisoned them in a perpetual state of fear and hyper-vigilance, we discovered:
A strong desire to protect themselves, to keep safe from danger and harm
An equally strong belief that fear was the only thing that would protect them
Shame of being afraid
Therapy, courses, all sorts of attempts to overcome their fear had no effect.
Of course not! If you had been attacked and hurt and you believed fear was the only thing that protected you, would you give it up? No matter how ashamed you were of your fear, no matter how debilitating and limiting it was, if you believed it was the only way to survive nothing would take it away.
We saw something in the quiet of acceptance and the dizzy-making confusion that comes with openly exploring beliefs. You don’t need fear in order to be aware of danger. You need to be alert and aware of danger, the way you are when crossing a busy street. It does not require tense muscles, holding your breath, nightmares, and a perpetual state of fear.
Each time, their faces softened and lit up, their bodies relaxed as they embraced a brand new goal – to protect themselves with loving awareness and gratitude for a healthy built-in fight or flight response they would only need when danger threatened. Not all day and all night for the rest of their lives.
Nobody wants to live in the past. But we all live by the past. During painful times especially, we often form strong beliefs that block future happiness and success. We continue to live by those beliefs without being aware of it.
That’s why I wrote “Travelling Free.” If you or someone you know could use help to breakout out from painful experiences in the past, “Travelling Free” is now available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1878639048/mandyevanscom in Kindle and MobiPocket versions also.
“It’s not what happens to us but what we come to believe that shapes our lives.” –Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs" by Mandy Evans
Cheering you on to freedom from past limits.
Love,
Mandy
To follow me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/mandyevans
YouTube "Deserving" Video:
http://tinyurl.com/ceqeos
Almost always, a secret unplanned theme reveals itself. Something deeper than all the fliers and emails brings us together.
Last weekend a high percentage of the participants at Rowe had experienced severe abuse in their lives.
When some people courageously explored the beliefs that still imprisoned them in a perpetual state of fear and hyper-vigilance, we discovered:
A strong desire to protect themselves, to keep safe from danger and harm
An equally strong belief that fear was the only thing that would protect them
Shame of being afraid
Therapy, courses, all sorts of attempts to overcome their fear had no effect.
Of course not! If you had been attacked and hurt and you believed fear was the only thing that protected you, would you give it up? No matter how ashamed you were of your fear, no matter how debilitating and limiting it was, if you believed it was the only way to survive nothing would take it away.
We saw something in the quiet of acceptance and the dizzy-making confusion that comes with openly exploring beliefs. You don’t need fear in order to be aware of danger. You need to be alert and aware of danger, the way you are when crossing a busy street. It does not require tense muscles, holding your breath, nightmares, and a perpetual state of fear.
Each time, their faces softened and lit up, their bodies relaxed as they embraced a brand new goal – to protect themselves with loving awareness and gratitude for a healthy built-in fight or flight response they would only need when danger threatened. Not all day and all night for the rest of their lives.
Nobody wants to live in the past. But we all live by the past. During painful times especially, we often form strong beliefs that block future happiness and success. We continue to live by those beliefs without being aware of it.
That’s why I wrote “Travelling Free.” If you or someone you know could use help to breakout out from painful experiences in the past, “Travelling Free” is now available at http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1878639048/mandyevanscom in Kindle and MobiPocket versions also.
“It’s not what happens to us but what we come to believe that shapes our lives.” –Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs" by Mandy Evans
Cheering you on to freedom from past limits.
Love,
Mandy
To follow me on Twitter:
http://twitter.com/mandyevans
YouTube "Deserving" Video:
http://tinyurl.com/ceqeos
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Remembrance
Memorial: anything meant to help people remember
In the US we celebrate Memorial Day, set aside for the dead from all of our wars, with remembrance and barbeques. I will enjoy both and envision a world at peace.
On Memorial Day my grandmother cut all the flowers in our yard. She filled the back of the car with them and the scent of peonies and lilacs. We’d drive out of town, down the country road, past the country club and into the Rockville Cemetery.
We left bouquets on the graves of generations of Bouics, Peters, Vinsons and Evans’s while she told me things about them I’ve long forgotten.
Headstones for my father, aunts, uncles, cousins and some of my mothers ashes mark their lives and their passing there now too.
I remember my grandmother’s love. How hard her life was. How she worked to make things better for everyone she knew. I honor her and thank her for raising me, though I did not then.
My father was a gentle man and a violent alcoholic. He lived most of his life alone, especially after he finally stayed sober for a few years before he died. I hardly knew him.
In the only real conversation we had as adults I learned he had been a Dachau Liberator in WWII. He told me about prisoners killing guards and his fellow GI’s laughing and cheering. He understood the prisoners, he said, but not his buddies. I remember and honor him and his service. I’m thankful for that story. It helped me to understand him and something about myself.
I remember the smell of peonies and lilacs, a reminder to be happy and to thank the people whose contributions fill my life with love—while they are still alive.
Thank you for being someone I can share these thoughts with.
Love,
Mandy
In the US we celebrate Memorial Day, set aside for the dead from all of our wars, with remembrance and barbeques. I will enjoy both and envision a world at peace.
On Memorial Day my grandmother cut all the flowers in our yard. She filled the back of the car with them and the scent of peonies and lilacs. We’d drive out of town, down the country road, past the country club and into the Rockville Cemetery.
We left bouquets on the graves of generations of Bouics, Peters, Vinsons and Evans’s while she told me things about them I’ve long forgotten.
Headstones for my father, aunts, uncles, cousins and some of my mothers ashes mark their lives and their passing there now too.
I remember my grandmother’s love. How hard her life was. How she worked to make things better for everyone she knew. I honor her and thank her for raising me, though I did not then.
My father was a gentle man and a violent alcoholic. He lived most of his life alone, especially after he finally stayed sober for a few years before he died. I hardly knew him.
In the only real conversation we had as adults I learned he had been a Dachau Liberator in WWII. He told me about prisoners killing guards and his fellow GI’s laughing and cheering. He understood the prisoners, he said, but not his buddies. I remember and honor him and his service. I’m thankful for that story. It helped me to understand him and something about myself.
I remember the smell of peonies and lilacs, a reminder to be happy and to thank the people whose contributions fill my life with love—while they are still alive.
Thank you for being someone I can share these thoughts with.
Love,
Mandy
Thursday, May 21, 2009
A voice woke me up in the middle of the night. A dream? A memory? The universe?
It said “Catch a Buzz, how may I help you? I’m sorry, Linda is all booked up this week. Would you like me to look for something next week?”
Then it came to me. I had heard those words before.
First, for this to make any sense at all, here’s a glimpse into the Breakout Weekend. We do a lot of journaling, beginning with what we want to break out from and what we want to break out to. That way each person uses the weekend to work on their unique issues. It is good info to have about yourself. I encourage you to make your own list and see what happens.
At the last Breakout Weekend we got pretty exuberant playing What If Up. It goes like this. Tell a group something you want or a problem you have. The group shares wonderful “what if’s” instead of the usual stuff to worry about.
One of the things on Robert Edelburg’s Breakout List was a center for healing and teaching. He is a gifted chiropractor and healer. They call him Dr. Buzz from an appropriate childhood nickname.
Linda Hyman draws on a lifetime study of personal and spiritual growth. She had just finished training as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Her list included a successful new therapy practice, recession or not.
We had what iff-ed a thriving center for Dr. Buzz, called, “Catch-a-Buzz” (I said we were feeling exuberant).
Then we focused on Linda’s dream. Dr.Buzz held his hand to his head making the thumb and pinkie telephone symbol. He said, “Catch-a-Buzz, how may I help you? I’m sorry, Linda is all booked up this week. Would you like me to look for something next week?”
Last weekend Linda and I went to a movie. She was almost late. Her practice is so full she had fallen asleep after squeezing 3 more patients into her exhausting schedule on Saturday morning.
Dr. Buzz opens The Palm Springs Healing Center next month.
My list included a good movie buddy and a new place to teach, the Palm Springs Healing Center!
So what was that voice in the night for? Though it took work, it all evolved so naturally, without frustration, pain or struggle. Not one of us had noticed the breakout.
It’s good to know what you want. Even better to get support for your goal. It’s also important to notice when a dream comes true.
Miracles are waiting!
Love,
Mandy
The next BREAKOUT Weekend
http://tinyurl.com/c8ex8f
Linda Hyman, M.A., LMFT
http://www.lindatherapypro.com/
Dr. Robert Edelburg, DC
Palm Springs Healing Center 760-416-2456
It said “Catch a Buzz, how may I help you? I’m sorry, Linda is all booked up this week. Would you like me to look for something next week?”
Then it came to me. I had heard those words before.
First, for this to make any sense at all, here’s a glimpse into the Breakout Weekend. We do a lot of journaling, beginning with what we want to break out from and what we want to break out to. That way each person uses the weekend to work on their unique issues. It is good info to have about yourself. I encourage you to make your own list and see what happens.
At the last Breakout Weekend we got pretty exuberant playing What If Up. It goes like this. Tell a group something you want or a problem you have. The group shares wonderful “what if’s” instead of the usual stuff to worry about.
One of the things on Robert Edelburg’s Breakout List was a center for healing and teaching. He is a gifted chiropractor and healer. They call him Dr. Buzz from an appropriate childhood nickname.
Linda Hyman draws on a lifetime study of personal and spiritual growth. She had just finished training as a Marriage and Family Therapist. Her list included a successful new therapy practice, recession or not.
We had what iff-ed a thriving center for Dr. Buzz, called, “Catch-a-Buzz” (I said we were feeling exuberant).
Then we focused on Linda’s dream. Dr.Buzz held his hand to his head making the thumb and pinkie telephone symbol. He said, “Catch-a-Buzz, how may I help you? I’m sorry, Linda is all booked up this week. Would you like me to look for something next week?”
Last weekend Linda and I went to a movie. She was almost late. Her practice is so full she had fallen asleep after squeezing 3 more patients into her exhausting schedule on Saturday morning.
Dr. Buzz opens The Palm Springs Healing Center next month.
My list included a good movie buddy and a new place to teach, the Palm Springs Healing Center!
So what was that voice in the night for? Though it took work, it all evolved so naturally, without frustration, pain or struggle. Not one of us had noticed the breakout.
It’s good to know what you want. Even better to get support for your goal. It’s also important to notice when a dream comes true.
Miracles are waiting!
Love,
Mandy
The next BREAKOUT Weekend
http://tinyurl.com/c8ex8f
Linda Hyman, M.A., LMFT
http://www.lindatherapypro.com/
Dr. Robert Edelburg, DC
Palm Springs Healing Center 760-416-2456
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Persevere or Give Up?
That goose sure taught me a lesson about persistence.
We have a little lake here in the desert. Lots of geese spend the winter every year. One flies in with his mate for the summer. They arrive each year just after all the other geese leave for cooler climates.
They build a nest, lay some eggs and wait. As temperatures soar the eggs bake and rot. She sits and he patrols the area attacking the gardeners and baby ducks.
We all wonder why don’t they just give up. I even wrote a blog about it, “Stop Struggling Like a Crazy Goose.” Boy was I wrong. I love being wrong. It always means I learned something new.
Spring moved in this year cool, slow and sweet.
Guess what happened? See below!
So how do you know when to give up and when to keep trying?
Here's a plan.
Never give up unless you want to.
Hold on and persevere as long as you like.
Eventually one of 4 things will happen:
Your dream will come true
You’ll lose interest
You will want something else even more
You’ll run out of time
The extra good news is that you never have to struggle like a crazy goose.
Instead:
Put your order in to the universe.
Enjoy the dream.
Embrace the goal.
Look for opportunities.
Take action when you spot a good opportunity.
Be happy in the meantime.
Make sure you stay open to discover more wonderful possibilities than you ever dreamed of.
Who knows what you might hatch!
To your happiness and success!
Love, Mandy
To follow me on Twitter
http://tinyurl.com/q5a6cl
To come to the Breakout Weekend
http://tinyurl.com/c8ex8f
To see the new YouTube video
http://tinyurl.com/d8rb4o
We have a little lake here in the desert. Lots of geese spend the winter every year. One flies in with his mate for the summer. They arrive each year just after all the other geese leave for cooler climates.
They build a nest, lay some eggs and wait. As temperatures soar the eggs bake and rot. She sits and he patrols the area attacking the gardeners and baby ducks.
We all wonder why don’t they just give up. I even wrote a blog about it, “Stop Struggling Like a Crazy Goose.” Boy was I wrong. I love being wrong. It always means I learned something new.
Spring moved in this year cool, slow and sweet.
Guess what happened? See below!
So how do you know when to give up and when to keep trying?
Here's a plan.
Never give up unless you want to.
Hold on and persevere as long as you like.
Eventually one of 4 things will happen:
Your dream will come true
You’ll lose interest
You will want something else even more
You’ll run out of time
The extra good news is that you never have to struggle like a crazy goose.
Instead:
Put your order in to the universe.
Enjoy the dream.
Embrace the goal.
Look for opportunities.
Take action when you spot a good opportunity.
Be happy in the meantime.
Make sure you stay open to discover more wonderful possibilities than you ever dreamed of.
Who knows what you might hatch!
To your happiness and success!
Love, Mandy
To follow me on Twitter
http://tinyurl.com/q5a6cl
To come to the Breakout Weekend
http://tinyurl.com/c8ex8f
To see the new YouTube video
http://tinyurl.com/d8rb4o
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