Heroic Losers

The hardest thing I ever had to do, he told us, was attending the execution of a young woman I knew was innocent. He was a lawyer who spoke about a case for the Innocence Project in California that he lost. Being there for his client at the end was all he had left to give. 

How much courage it must require to take on challenges like that again and again knowing the stakes, knowing that no matter how much you care, despite preparation and diligence, you cannot control the outcome. Your opponent, the jury, the judge -- each one plays their role in this real-life drama, their way.

Doctors too are high stakes losers. Sometimes they fail to cure sick patients. Sometimes they lose limbs and even lives in surgery. Somehow they go on trying to help us patients. 

Think of all the high stakes losers like AA sponsors, addiction counsellors, police officers, firemen (and women), performers who risk bombing in front of enormous crowds; just to name a few. And famous athletes like Michael Jordon who gave us his famous quote about missing the final shots that lost the game:

These losers are heroes abundantly worthy of the title. If you have lost and tried again, you are too. One of my favorite sayings is "We don't always win, but we suit-up for every game."

Got your suit on? I hope this post will help you to break out from some beliefs about failure.

Cheering you on to happiness, success and failure!

With love,

Mandy

This post is dedicated to JL

Peace in the Face of Hatred

 Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your daily dose of of bad news?

When I feel disheartened by the hatred, cruelty and greed (especially for power) in our world, the only thing I know to do is focus on what I want instead. Kindness. Generosity. Love. Compassion, Peace. I try to extend some.

Doing my small part to create the world I want feels so much better than despair or anger toward those who damage others. I don't wish those people harm or suffering -- just out of power and unable to hurt others.

The courage and strength required to confront suffering without being demoralized reminds me of our civil rights leader, John Lewis, who invited us to get into some good trouble.

So let's also stand up when we can. Maybe not in front of a tank, but In conversation, even if it ruffles a few feathers. Voting. Protesting injustice and cruelty. Contributing to worthy causes

If the plight of innocent people in war zones, or those who are homeless and hungry tugs at your heart so hard it threatens to overwhelm you, I hope this will help.

Love, 

Mandy

Happiness on Sale!

Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness is on sale during this Amazon Kindle Countdown deal. Starting 12/18/23 through 12/22/23 it is just 99 cents. That's 7 for the price of one! Kindle books can be read on any device.

Here's the link for reviews, info and orders:

Emotional Options 99 Cents

If you are looking for a meaningful holiday gift, for yourself or people you care about, I hope you will consider this book that has helped so many people to be happier now. 

Headlines from the last 3 reviews, all 5 stars:

• Simple and profound
• No-Fluff Guide Gives You Tools to Unlock Happiness... MUST READ!!
• Emotional Freedom Is Available To Everyone

Happy Holidays. 

Happy giving. 

Many Blessings.

With love, 

Mandy

 

Celebrate Your Mistakes!

 Celebrate what?!? Mistakes? Why would anyone want to do that? Because:

 You cannot recognize a mistake unless you just learned something useful. 

For example, I did two Breakout Coaching sessions with a man who wanted to launch his own business, but he was afraid. A few years and several million dollars later he invited me to an interview on his new podcast. During our recording he explained how he knew me. 

He said, She asked me some questions no one had ever asked me before. When I heard my own answers I thought, "But that's just so stupid!"

He announced it gleefully, as if he had just received a wonderful surprise gift. He had. He had given it to himself; I just helped to unwrap the package. 

I'll let you know when the interview airs and you can hear his gleeful proclamation yourself.

But what if the mistake you discover is a belief you have held, maybe for decades, that has blocked your happiness or limited your success? You can regret those erroneous years or celebrate your breakout to newfound freedom. 

If fear of failure or reluctance to make a mistake holds you back from following your heart's desire, don't just take my word for it. Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes of all time says:

"I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed."

Here's to your mistakes! Let's celebrate!

With love, 
Mandy

What Is Your Purpose?

Around 1975 I took the est training in NYC. Many of the upheavals I experienced and insights I gained guide me still. Among them this question stands out. 

What is your purpose in life? 

When I heard that, astounded, I wondered how I had reached my thirties without ever even considering such a important question! What on earth were we here for? Not only that, I did not know one single person who had pondered it either. How could we all dance or trudge our way through the days of our lives with no concept of what for?

My answer came quickly and clearly, in a blend of discovery and choice. 

My purpose is to help people to be happier and ease suffering.

 I tried it on. It fit. It still does, growing and changing shape as I have done over many years. 

Knowing my purpose serves as a north star whenever I get lost. When I cannot for the life of me figure out what to do next, all I have to do while I wait for direction is remain true to my purpose:

• Be kind 
• Offer a service.
• Encourage someone 
• Contribute to a worthy cause
• Thank someone for something
• Write a blog post that may help someone to breakout out from a painful emotion and feel better  

So here we go, what is your purpose? If you could have your precious life be for something, what would you like that to be? For many of us, our purpose will change from time to time. It does not have to be grand or altruistic. It could be anything from simply making it through a tough time to contributing to world peace. Enjoying the gift of life sounds like a good one to me. The important thing is to choose -- to be consciously aware of what on earth your are here for. 

I would love to hear about your choices and experiences and share them with others here. Your comments are always an appreciated gift. 

Wishing you a happy purposeful life.

Love, 
Mandy

Why I Love Writers

They say writers only need one tool, a seat-belt! A grimmer version explains how to write a book, "You just stare at a blank piece of paper until blood pours out of your eyes."

Thank you dear writers for:

• The hours you spend alone
• The courage to share your creation
• The joy and wisdom you have given us
• Opening our hearts and minds to new thoughts
• Explaining things I would never understand without you
• Helping me to make it through the night more than once -- a lot more than once
• Making me laugh out loud
• Allowing me to cry when I could not
• Getting me through my childhood
• Teaching me about compassion
• Helping me to learn the "how to" of so many things
• Daring to face the harshest, most snide criticism some people can dish out
• Sharing the secrets of your very soul that your words reveal
• Creating worlds of wonder for us to travel in and characters we remember for life
• Filling me with hope
• Making the would richer, finer, and more accessible to so many people
• Letting me to dare to join your ranks!

I love you so dearly. Thank you so deeply.

Surviving Valentine's Day or What Do You Want Instead?

Feeling kind of glum on Valentine's Day, no chocolates, no flowers no cards; I reverted to an old default state, unloved and unwanted. I did one thing I know to do when I feel that way -- be kind. I sent out e-cards and emails. Tweeted a link to a free talk I gave called "Beliefs About Love." 

While I took a shower and washed my hair I remembered the other thing. If you don't like the way it is, figure out what you want instead and focus on that. Kaboom! My son called from Costa Rica to wish me a Happy Valentine's Day and my dear neighbor left this wild and wonderful bouquet of flowers. 

My mailbox filled up with sweet thoughts and a dear friend called with a dinner invitation. 

You probably have heard me say it before, that bit about what you want instead. If you are anything like me, you could use a reminder now and then though. 

If you feel bad about something, figure out what you want instead and focus on that because what you focus on grows!

Wishing you love and happiness on Valentine's Day, the day after, and always, 

Mandy