No one can authorize you to be free. If you want freedom, sometimes you have to take it.
It's easy to get stuck in prisons of our own limiting and self-defeating beliefs. Often we do not know how to break out. We forget that boundless possibilities for happiness, love and abundance surround all of us. They are always there, whether we know how to access them or not.
As we celebrate our Independence Day this weekend in the US I invite you to declare your own independence. At the top of a piece of paper write your title to freedom, "My Personal Declaration of Independence." Begin with "I declare my independence from... " and write away!
Warning! This powerful exercise works in mysterious ways. Read about what happened to me one dark July night in the mountains with an angel – a real one http://tinyurl.com/personaldeclaration
Got something to say about it? Yeah, comments! Share your declaration and make it real.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Break Out from this Oversold Myth
Contrary to the advice of many personal and spiritual
development gurus, it is not always a good idea to get
a fixed idea of what you want, post a picture on the
fridge and visualize it every day until you get it or die
trying.
Why? Because your fixed focus may exclude miracles.
Say you set off on a hike, for example. You goal is to
reach the top of a mountain with a wonderful view at
the end of your trail.
You come across a small pool of water, surrounded by
moss covered rocks. It's early spring. Magenta trillium
and other woodsy wildflowers peak out from decaying
leaves.
Will you stop in awe or forge blindly ahead to your view
from the top?
The sound of rushing water captures your attention. Just
around the bend a waterfall, fed my snow melt cascades
into a rushing stream. You hardly notice. On to the top.
A fawn darts across an opening in the trees. Not on your
list of adventures for the day.
Finally as you huff and puff your way up the final incline,
clouds move in obscuring the view. Dang you think, another
wasted day.
You can apply the analogy to any goal - like a promotion
at work, a new car, home or relationship. Like this one.
A vivacious, intelligent young woman in a coaching group
told us how unhappy she was because her boyfriend,
Emmet had ended their relationship.
As we explored her misery, she explained in a tear choked
voice that he was the best boyfriend she ever had. After
some exploration of the limiting beliefs that held her un-
happiness in place her view of possibilities began to
expand. It no longer seemed true that Emmett was her last
chance at a happy relationship. Within minutes she grinned
at us and said, "I should get a tee shirt that says "Emmett
or Better."
My teacher and friend, Bruce Di Marsico who originated the
Option Method, put it well. "It's nice to get what you want,
but it's important to be open to better than you ever thought of."
It's your mind; do you keep it open to the miracles all around
you? Your heart? Is it truly open to an abundance of love?
Cheering you on to better than you ever dreamed of!
Love,
Mandy
PS, Remember "Why You Want Everything?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gewLjrUa0O0 on YouTube.
Now available with Hungarian subtitles - better than
I dreamed possible!
development gurus, it is not always a good idea to get
a fixed idea of what you want, post a picture on the
fridge and visualize it every day until you get it or die
trying.
Why? Because your fixed focus may exclude miracles.
Say you set off on a hike, for example. You goal is to
reach the top of a mountain with a wonderful view at
the end of your trail.
You come across a small pool of water, surrounded by
moss covered rocks. It's early spring. Magenta trillium
and other woodsy wildflowers peak out from decaying
leaves.
Will you stop in awe or forge blindly ahead to your view
from the top?
The sound of rushing water captures your attention. Just
around the bend a waterfall, fed my snow melt cascades
into a rushing stream. You hardly notice. On to the top.
A fawn darts across an opening in the trees. Not on your
list of adventures for the day.
Finally as you huff and puff your way up the final incline,
clouds move in obscuring the view. Dang you think, another
wasted day.
You can apply the analogy to any goal - like a promotion
at work, a new car, home or relationship. Like this one.
A vivacious, intelligent young woman in a coaching group
told us how unhappy she was because her boyfriend,
Emmet had ended their relationship.
As we explored her misery, she explained in a tear choked
voice that he was the best boyfriend she ever had. After
some exploration of the limiting beliefs that held her un-
happiness in place her view of possibilities began to
expand. It no longer seemed true that Emmett was her last
chance at a happy relationship. Within minutes she grinned
at us and said, "I should get a tee shirt that says "Emmett
or Better."
My teacher and friend, Bruce Di Marsico who originated the
Option Method, put it well. "It's nice to get what you want,
but it's important to be open to better than you ever thought of."
It's your mind; do you keep it open to the miracles all around
you? Your heart? Is it truly open to an abundance of love?
Cheering you on to better than you ever dreamed of!
Love,
Mandy
PS, Remember "Why You Want Everything?"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gewLjrUa0O0 on YouTube.
Now available with Hungarian subtitles - better than
I dreamed possible!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
How to Survive a Crisis, Even a Shipwreck
High waves surged at the small fishing boat. The first one swamped it. The next one turned it over and dumped John Nevarez, his brother Elias, and their friend, Rebecca into the Atlantic Ocean.
For three days they clung to the upside down boat and a cooler with some water and Gatorade in it.
What important priorities did they put in place to survive? “Get rid of all fears,” came first. Next order of business? Tell blonde jokes, favorite lines from movies and share happy times with family.
On day three they were rescued, dehydrated, badly stung by jelly fish and in excellent spirits.
With the stock market crashing like a big wave, oil spilling, Koreas threatening – well you’ve got the picture, sometimes it feels as if we are all afloat in heavy seas.
Will the Nevarez’ approach work for you? Get rid of fears. But how?
Here are the questions I ask myself and coaching clients that dredge up the limiting beliefs that hold fear in place:
1. What are you afraid of? Get really specific. When you deal with fear, the devil is in the details.
2. Why are you afraid of that (whatever your fear focuses on)? Of all the feelings your could have, why fear?
3. What are you concerned would happen if you were not afraid? When we are afraid, many times we are reluctant to feel better. Somehow it seems as if fear will help us and keep us safe. It does not. Awareness of danger helps but it does not require fear.
Happiness helps.
When you face a challenge, even a great big one, instead of scrambling about to find a solution attend to your emotional well-being first.
That’s what those capsized guys did. After they calmed down and cheered up, their creativity kicked in. They took turns tying one person to the top of the boat to rest, rationed that Gatorade and figured out how to survive to fish again.
On the third day a boat spotted them and called the Coast Guard.
May you survive every crisis, be happy and flourish!
Love,
Mandy
PS: My YouTube Video, “Why You Want Everything” just showed up with a Hungarian translation. What a kick! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJTZl5CfNeo
For three days they clung to the upside down boat and a cooler with some water and Gatorade in it.
What important priorities did they put in place to survive? “Get rid of all fears,” came first. Next order of business? Tell blonde jokes, favorite lines from movies and share happy times with family.
On day three they were rescued, dehydrated, badly stung by jelly fish and in excellent spirits.
With the stock market crashing like a big wave, oil spilling, Koreas threatening – well you’ve got the picture, sometimes it feels as if we are all afloat in heavy seas.
Will the Nevarez’ approach work for you? Get rid of fears. But how?
Here are the questions I ask myself and coaching clients that dredge up the limiting beliefs that hold fear in place:
1. What are you afraid of? Get really specific. When you deal with fear, the devil is in the details.
2. Why are you afraid of that (whatever your fear focuses on)? Of all the feelings your could have, why fear?
3. What are you concerned would happen if you were not afraid? When we are afraid, many times we are reluctant to feel better. Somehow it seems as if fear will help us and keep us safe. It does not. Awareness of danger helps but it does not require fear.
Happiness helps.
When you face a challenge, even a great big one, instead of scrambling about to find a solution attend to your emotional well-being first.
That’s what those capsized guys did. After they calmed down and cheered up, their creativity kicked in. They took turns tying one person to the top of the boat to rest, rationed that Gatorade and figured out how to survive to fish again.
On the third day a boat spotted them and called the Coast Guard.
May you survive every crisis, be happy and flourish!
Love,
Mandy
PS: My YouTube Video, “Why You Want Everything” just showed up with a Hungarian translation. What a kick! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zJTZl5CfNeo
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
The Care and Feeding of Mothers
A report out this week ranks the USA low on its list of the best places to be a mother. It cites a high rate maternal and infant mortality as well as short maternity leaves in its findings.
Since my work is with limiting beliefs that block success and happiness one more cause stands out as well. Human babies do not survive without a great amount of care. If we’re here, we got it, from someone. But in our society we appear to believe that mothers (and caregivers in general) produce endless care, support, nurturing, love, patience, courage and endurance but require nothing to sustain them.
That belief blocks the care and feeding of mothers. Do you know a family where they lavish daily praise and encouragement on the mom? Prepare her favorite foods? Cheer her on when she’s discouraged? Read to her when she’s sick? Imagine what a happy household that would be.
On Sunday, in the US, we celebrate mother’s day, mostly with cards and flowers. A precious gift that is free is acknowledgement, of the gift of life, of caring. Maybe your mom pushed herself beyond her own limits and fears to nurture and provide for you, hoping beyond hope to spare you from every hurt that almost did her in, to give you the best shot to make what you will of the miracle of life. If your mother wasn’t able to do that, maybe someone else did. Or several people.
My mother and I had a rocky time of it but I had time to apologize for the thoughtless things I did and said as a child and teenager -- time to thank her for giving me life. She was surprised and touched. I’m so glad I did.
I wish I had acknowledged my grandmothers for their kindness, love and support. I tell them now, but I’m not so sure they get it.
If you would like to acknowledge your mother and/or those who nurtured you, I would love know your thoughts. You can leave comments here.
Acknowledging the amazing nurturing spirit in each of us! Happy Mother’s Day.
Love,
Mandy
Since my work is with limiting beliefs that block success and happiness one more cause stands out as well. Human babies do not survive without a great amount of care. If we’re here, we got it, from someone. But in our society we appear to believe that mothers (and caregivers in general) produce endless care, support, nurturing, love, patience, courage and endurance but require nothing to sustain them.
That belief blocks the care and feeding of mothers. Do you know a family where they lavish daily praise and encouragement on the mom? Prepare her favorite foods? Cheer her on when she’s discouraged? Read to her when she’s sick? Imagine what a happy household that would be.
On Sunday, in the US, we celebrate mother’s day, mostly with cards and flowers. A precious gift that is free is acknowledgement, of the gift of life, of caring. Maybe your mom pushed herself beyond her own limits and fears to nurture and provide for you, hoping beyond hope to spare you from every hurt that almost did her in, to give you the best shot to make what you will of the miracle of life. If your mother wasn’t able to do that, maybe someone else did. Or several people.
My mother and I had a rocky time of it but I had time to apologize for the thoughtless things I did and said as a child and teenager -- time to thank her for giving me life. She was surprised and touched. I’m so glad I did.
I wish I had acknowledged my grandmothers for their kindness, love and support. I tell them now, but I’m not so sure they get it.
If you would like to acknowledge your mother and/or those who nurtured you, I would love know your thoughts. You can leave comments here.
Acknowledging the amazing nurturing spirit in each of us! Happy Mother’s Day.
Love,
Mandy
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Break Out from this Confusing Barrier to Happiness and Success
When it comes to beliefs that block success and happiness here’s a popular whopper: Confusion is bad.
There’s more. That constricting belief usually comes with a snaggle of auxiliary ones like:
Don’t let anyone know you are confused
Being confused means you’re stupid
Confusion is humiliating
Avoid confusion at all costs
One of the first barriers my students work through in the Breakout Method, is reluctance to experience confusion. Confusion is a very high state of mind. It comes at that moment just before you learn something brand new or when you see that something is not the way you thought it was and new clarity emerges from the fog.
Fear of confusion or appearing confused keeps us thinking inside the box. Protecting yourself from confusion strengthens the walls. As we grow older the box gets smaller and tighter. It blocks new experiences, inspiration, information and miracles.
In seminars, most of my students break out way beyond fear of confusion. They actually learn to welcome it. When I see someone embrace a state of total bewilderment with gleeful enthusiasm and a grinning “Oh, boy, I am sooo confused!” I know we’ve stepped into a whole new arena.
Miracles, by definition reside outside the box of false certainty. Breaking out to miracles usually entails a passage through confusion to access the wonders that abound, just outside of the box of limiting beliefs.
Cheering you on to happy confusion!
Love,
Mandy
Learn more about embracing confusion:
http://tinyurl.com/emotionaloptions
Share your thoughts http://beliefbreakout.blogspot.com/
There’s more. That constricting belief usually comes with a snaggle of auxiliary ones like:
Don’t let anyone know you are confused
Being confused means you’re stupid
Confusion is humiliating
Avoid confusion at all costs
One of the first barriers my students work through in the Breakout Method, is reluctance to experience confusion. Confusion is a very high state of mind. It comes at that moment just before you learn something brand new or when you see that something is not the way you thought it was and new clarity emerges from the fog.
Fear of confusion or appearing confused keeps us thinking inside the box. Protecting yourself from confusion strengthens the walls. As we grow older the box gets smaller and tighter. It blocks new experiences, inspiration, information and miracles.
In seminars, most of my students break out way beyond fear of confusion. They actually learn to welcome it. When I see someone embrace a state of total bewilderment with gleeful enthusiasm and a grinning “Oh, boy, I am sooo confused!” I know we’ve stepped into a whole new arena.
Miracles, by definition reside outside the box of false certainty. Breaking out to miracles usually entails a passage through confusion to access the wonders that abound, just outside of the box of limiting beliefs.
Cheering you on to happy confusion!
Love,
Mandy
Learn more about embracing confusion:
http://tinyurl.com/emotionaloptions
Share your thoughts http://beliefbreakout.blogspot.com/
Friday, April 2, 2010
Your Connection to Miracles
You came into this world with a way to attract what you
want or move toward it. Then your (mostly well-meaning)
parents, teachers, and media experts told you it was bad,
wrong and the cause of all suffering.
If you dare to follow the extraordinary power of desire as
an inner sense of direction you will bring wonders into
your life. Desire is the strongest motivation of all. Your
own heart's desire will lead you to a welcome outcome
more than all the discipline you could ever muster.
Be willing to correct your course as new information
becomes available.
Be happy now, the rest is gravy.
Work on yourself. As the old saying goes "trying to make
someone else change is like trying to teach a pig to sing.
It frustrates you and it makes the pig mad."
Focus, re-focus and focus again on what you want.
Because our limiting beliefs block so many opportunities
it helps to have someone point out other possibilities
among the infinite opportunities that surround us all.
You may choose a mentor, a coach, a friend or be blessed
with a mastermind group like mine to broaden your horizons.
Here is a secret about me that may help you break out to miracles.
My birthday is this Saturday, April 3rd. Do you know what my
strong desire has been for a long time? To get through it without
pain.
That's an improvement from early birthdays when I wanted to
get through it without devastating pain. My father was a violent
alcoholic. My mother always said, "I don't have a maternal bone
in my body." Although I had a far easier childhood than many
people I've worked with and some of you who will read this,
it was not conducive to jolly birthday celebrations.
This year another layer of fog parted and I saw it clearly! I had
limited my birthday desire to the avoidance of pain - a narrow
target I sometimes missed.
This year I am celebrating a birthday breakout. I want to have
an amazing, magical birthday full happy surprises beyond my
wildest imagination. I want mark my entry into this realm filled
with love and joy.
Desire has already attracted beautiful cards, Facebook messages,
thoughtful gifts and lunch and dinner dates with beloved friends.
Here's one from Harry Cauley. He was the leading man when I
worked in summer stock in 1960! His card said: "To my dear
friend, you never will be old. For, as you were when first your
eye I eyed, such is your beauty still." Wm. Shakespeare.
Such, my dears, is the power of desire to bring beautiful people,
generosity, grace, happiness, love, prosperity, joyful celebration -
whatever you want to welcome into your life to you.
When I blow out the candles you will be in my birthday wishes.
Desire marks the path.
Mandy
want or move toward it. Then your (mostly well-meaning)
parents, teachers, and media experts told you it was bad,
wrong and the cause of all suffering.
If you dare to follow the extraordinary power of desire as
an inner sense of direction you will bring wonders into
your life. Desire is the strongest motivation of all. Your
own heart's desire will lead you to a welcome outcome
more than all the discipline you could ever muster.
Be willing to correct your course as new information
becomes available.
Be happy now, the rest is gravy.
Work on yourself. As the old saying goes "trying to make
someone else change is like trying to teach a pig to sing.
It frustrates you and it makes the pig mad."
Focus, re-focus and focus again on what you want.
Because our limiting beliefs block so many opportunities
it helps to have someone point out other possibilities
among the infinite opportunities that surround us all.
You may choose a mentor, a coach, a friend or be blessed
with a mastermind group like mine to broaden your horizons.
Here is a secret about me that may help you break out to miracles.
My birthday is this Saturday, April 3rd. Do you know what my
strong desire has been for a long time? To get through it without
pain.
That's an improvement from early birthdays when I wanted to
get through it without devastating pain. My father was a violent
alcoholic. My mother always said, "I don't have a maternal bone
in my body." Although I had a far easier childhood than many
people I've worked with and some of you who will read this,
it was not conducive to jolly birthday celebrations.
This year another layer of fog parted and I saw it clearly! I had
limited my birthday desire to the avoidance of pain - a narrow
target I sometimes missed.
This year I am celebrating a birthday breakout. I want to have
an amazing, magical birthday full happy surprises beyond my
wildest imagination. I want mark my entry into this realm filled
with love and joy.
Desire has already attracted beautiful cards, Facebook messages,
thoughtful gifts and lunch and dinner dates with beloved friends.
Here's one from Harry Cauley. He was the leading man when I
worked in summer stock in 1960! His card said: "To my dear
friend, you never will be old. For, as you were when first your
eye I eyed, such is your beauty still." Wm. Shakespeare.
Such, my dears, is the power of desire to bring beautiful people,
generosity, grace, happiness, love, prosperity, joyful celebration -
whatever you want to welcome into your life to you.
When I blow out the candles you will be in my birthday wishes.
Desire marks the path.
Mandy
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Lessons from Hummingbirds
There is just something about hummingbirds. I confess to a stab of envy when my friend Betty found a hummingbird nest in a tree in her yard.I dreamed of having that experience too. A thrill of delight followed when one began to build her nest right outside the window above my desk last year. Alas, she chose a large leaf on a shedding succulant. When it fell off, I knew the sinking feeling of disappointment. I'll bet she did too.
A few days ago I sipped some morning coffee and gazed out the window from the dining area in my little casita by the lake. A flash of movement caught my eye. A pair of super-speedy wings held a wee bird in place for a moment. She lit on a branch and poked at something.
Again and again she returned until she had her beautiful nest just about done. I thought, "I'd better tell the gardeners not to trim this tree." Then I thought, "They never trim this tree unless I ask them to." The thought persisted until I forced it out of my mind. They say humans are the only creatures who go against their own instincts.
Must be true, because I sure went against mine. When I returned to my vantage point, the tree had been trimmed and the little nester was nowhere in sight.
Now I knew the dejection of bitter disappointment.
'It's just an experience," I told myself. It's not something you really had.
"That's all we ever want!" I answered.
"Well, have another one," I replied.
" I wanted the watching-the-humming-bird one." I shot back.
Just about then, she flew in for the landing. I knew the joy, the delight, the rapture of a miracle.
Here's what I learned from the hummingbird.
Even if you are not always good, experience envy, indulge in disappointment, go against your own instincts, argue with yourself and do not create a happy experience evenwhen you know how -- miracles abound! You just have to keep an eye out and accept them.
I 'm thinking about presenting another "BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend" I'll keep you posted.
Love,
Mandy
PS -- Look how close they came! See the fresh cuts on the branch by her beak and behind her! Miracles abound!
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