Don't fight reality, use it.
Reality changes all of the time. We can fight it, deny it, complain about it or use it. I recommend using it. Especially since reality does not give a fig about what we think of it. It just is.
Complaining about, fearing and railing against reality it only raises blood pressure and increases tension. It limits creativity.
But you can change reality! Especially your own. You can lose weight, gain financial success, get out of debt, become more loving, move to another town or country, get married, get divorced – well you get the picture.
Helping to change someone else’s reality (like sharing resources or sound advice) is more of a challenge but often worth the effort. Since it is almost impossible to alter someone else’s reality without their cooperation I suggest skipping that endeavor all together!
Here’s an example of how to use reality. A flurry of inflation warnings made financial news today. Some of us will worry and complain others will take advantage of this new reality.
We can bemoan the price of coffee or buy coffee stocks. You can open an online brokerage account for as little as $500. There is even an EFT (electronically traded fund) just for coffee, symbol BAL. Not recommending, just sayin’.
If interest rates go up, the price of bonds will go down. Sell bonds? Redouble efforts to pay off credit cards? Buy real estate, as in “buy low, sell high?”
That is just one example of how to break out from a futile fight against reality.
Here are some others:
• Stop complaining about what is and invest some energy in what you want to attract or move toward.
• If your friends take advantage of you, put your foot down and say no and/or find some thoughtful new friends.
• If someone betrays your trust, instead of trying to make him be more loyal factor in that information when you interact next time.
• If you do not like where you live, move!
• If your boss is a total pain find a better a way to communicate with her or start look for another job.
• If you want more love in your life, be more loving. Just sitting quietly to send love and blessings to people you care about changes you and the energy you share with others.
• Denying reality does not delay it or make it go away. Denial is not a river in Egypt.
The most important, powerful change you can make is your own limiting beliefs. When you regularly uncover and break out from beliefs you hold that block success and happiness you step into a whole new world. Your view of reality opens up. You can see amazing possibilities that used to be obscured by self-defeating beliefs.
Reality rocks! Use it well.
Please share this with anyone who might benefit.
Cheering you on to success and happiness with love,
Mandy
Author of:
“Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs”
“Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness”
Available at www.mandyevans.com
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Friday, December 31, 2010
What to Do in 2011?
Here it comes, 2011! And how are we going to know what to do?
Advice pours in from ever-expanding sources. Google, Facebook, Twitter and life coaches have joined Fox News, CNN, the print pundits, gurus, clergy, therapists, teachers, spouses, friends and family in a great cacophony of do-this-don’t-do-that’s.
I get a fair amount of requests for such advice myself – a bit more than I can handle sometimes. It keeps me thinking about this:
Each of our lives is so unique, so very precious. No one on this planet has ever walked your path or ever will again. No one but you has learned everything you know or rises to meet the same new challenge you face. What a wonder you are!
I’m reviewing the lessons that enrich my life. They may add strength, love and beauty to yours.
You are the authority on your life. No matter who tells you what, you have to decide what advice to follow, who is wise and who seems foolish to you. There is no escaping it, in the matter of your life, it is up to you!
Desire marks the path. I spent last week with my family. Our newest member, Emery is a small 5 month old bundle of happiness and desire. Watching her bright eyes as she reaches and rolls over for the next delight to crinkle, crunch, bang or chew on reminds me of the simple strength of this inner sense of guidance. It may be all we need to lead us through life, if we only dare to follow it.
My son, Barnaby says I gave him some good advice about my favorite form of desire when he was in high school, “You told me if I follow my intense curiosity, I’ll always be alright.” He’s a happy entrepreneur, founder and CEO of http://www.foodista.com/; it seems to work.
Happiness is the ultimate goal. Never hold your happiness hostage to be ransomed for love, money, success or stuff. As supercoach Michael Neill says, “Happiness leads to success a lot more often than success leads to happiness.” You can have your happiness cake and still devour your fill of material gains and mighty triumphs.
As each new year approaches, I write an “I Welcome List” of what I want to bring into my life. This year I’m focusing on who I want to be and how I want to experience the precious days of this miracle – being alive and capable of learning, teaching, loving, laughing and being happy.
Please share your comments, thoughts and knowing what you welcome in 2011 here. I'm pretty sure sharing helps make it real.
Cheering you on with happiness and love,
Mandy
“Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness”
"Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past”
are available at http://tinyurl.com/ordermandysbooks
Advice pours in from ever-expanding sources. Google, Facebook, Twitter and life coaches have joined Fox News, CNN, the print pundits, gurus, clergy, therapists, teachers, spouses, friends and family in a great cacophony of do-this-don’t-do-that’s.
I get a fair amount of requests for such advice myself – a bit more than I can handle sometimes. It keeps me thinking about this:
Each of our lives is so unique, so very precious. No one on this planet has ever walked your path or ever will again. No one but you has learned everything you know or rises to meet the same new challenge you face. What a wonder you are!
I’m reviewing the lessons that enrich my life. They may add strength, love and beauty to yours.
You are the authority on your life. No matter who tells you what, you have to decide what advice to follow, who is wise and who seems foolish to you. There is no escaping it, in the matter of your life, it is up to you!
Desire marks the path. I spent last week with my family. Our newest member, Emery is a small 5 month old bundle of happiness and desire. Watching her bright eyes as she reaches and rolls over for the next delight to crinkle, crunch, bang or chew on reminds me of the simple strength of this inner sense of guidance. It may be all we need to lead us through life, if we only dare to follow it.
My son, Barnaby says I gave him some good advice about my favorite form of desire when he was in high school, “You told me if I follow my intense curiosity, I’ll always be alright.” He’s a happy entrepreneur, founder and CEO of http://www.foodista.com/; it seems to work.
Happiness is the ultimate goal. Never hold your happiness hostage to be ransomed for love, money, success or stuff. As supercoach Michael Neill says, “Happiness leads to success a lot more often than success leads to happiness.” You can have your happiness cake and still devour your fill of material gains and mighty triumphs.
As each new year approaches, I write an “I Welcome List” of what I want to bring into my life. This year I’m focusing on who I want to be and how I want to experience the precious days of this miracle – being alive and capable of learning, teaching, loving, laughing and being happy.
Please share your comments, thoughts and knowing what you welcome in 2011 here. I'm pretty sure sharing helps make it real.
Cheering you on with happiness and love,
Mandy
“Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness”
"Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past”
are available at http://tinyurl.com/ordermandysbooks
Friday, December 3, 2010
A Breakout from Struggle
This powerful principle rarely makes it to the
lists of rules, keys, codes, lessons, steps,
agreements and secrets out there:
Your word is your bond.
Some emails from people who are caught in
desperate struggles inspired me to write this
message to you.
It took me a long time to understand the
incredible creative power that doing what
you say you will do generates.
I'm still learning. I'm doing a pretty good job
of keeping my word to others. I have a way
to go on keeping my word to myself. I think
I lack awareness of the consequences. They
appear so quickly when you break your word
to someone else!
Your word is your pledge to yourself, another,
the universe, about the new reality you are
going to create.
You can promise, intend, affirm and visualize
forever but if what you say is not true you
really affirm that you are a liar.
I did not say bad liar. Just liar. This message
is not about being good or bad or to promote
guilt in any way. The laws of attraction and
natural consequences are quite strong enough
to teach us what we need to learn if open
ourselves to honest observation.
When you can count on yourself to do what
you say you will do, you sign up to play in the
major leagues of manifestation. When others
can count on you and you on them, you build
strong friendships and partnerships based on
earned trust.
I first began to ponder this issue seriously when
I took the est Training in the 1970's. Werner
Erhard's powerful, controversial 2 weekend
seminar emphasized keeping your agreements
as a requirement for having "your life work." I
continued to participate with the est organization
in seminars and the 6 month grueling, no-holds-
barred Guest Seminar Leader's program.
To get clear may require piercing layers of
unconsciousness and hidden beliefs. I remember
one such piercing vividly. I sat at a long phone
bank with a stack of cards from people who
had attended an est guest seminar that week
preparing to call and ask them to sign up.
I dreaded it.
My enrollment team leader shouted through the
roar of surrounding voices to ask how many
people I was going to register that night. My
mind raced about like a squirrel on steroids
searching for an acceptable answer. It never
occurred to me to tell the truth, "I'm just trying
to stay under the radar and get through the night
without crying."
I had only just begun to recognize that myself.
As the fog lifted I saw more examples of how
afraid I was of standing out if I did not match
someone's expectations. As much as I loved
applause and approval, I always left a door
open to slip out the back.
That explained a lot of things about the struggles
in my life: my lack of success, the painful
relationship I clung to, my paralyzing fear of
confrontations.
That moment on the phones served me well. It
opened doors I did not know I closed. As I
write this, I'm proud of my accomplishments.
I have only mutually beneficial relationships.
I recently weathered a few confrontations by
standing up for myself without losing compassion.
Those fog-parting moments seem infinite--as
perhaps enlightenment itself is. There have
been many more. I'm sure there are more
where they came from.
If you want to breakout from desperation to an
adventure in enlightenment, pay close attention
to your real desires, your discernable intentions
and what you tell yourself and others. Not so
you can be good or avoid being bad, but for the
sheer clarity and power of truth as you know it.
Your word is your bond.
Love,
Mandy
lists of rules, keys, codes, lessons, steps,
agreements and secrets out there:
Your word is your bond.
Some emails from people who are caught in
desperate struggles inspired me to write this
message to you.
It took me a long time to understand the
incredible creative power that doing what
you say you will do generates.
I'm still learning. I'm doing a pretty good job
of keeping my word to others. I have a way
to go on keeping my word to myself. I think
I lack awareness of the consequences. They
appear so quickly when you break your word
to someone else!
Your word is your pledge to yourself, another,
the universe, about the new reality you are
going to create.
You can promise, intend, affirm and visualize
forever but if what you say is not true you
really affirm that you are a liar.
I did not say bad liar. Just liar. This message
is not about being good or bad or to promote
guilt in any way. The laws of attraction and
natural consequences are quite strong enough
to teach us what we need to learn if open
ourselves to honest observation.
When you can count on yourself to do what
you say you will do, you sign up to play in the
major leagues of manifestation. When others
can count on you and you on them, you build
strong friendships and partnerships based on
earned trust.
I first began to ponder this issue seriously when
I took the est Training in the 1970's. Werner
Erhard's powerful, controversial 2 weekend
seminar emphasized keeping your agreements
as a requirement for having "your life work." I
continued to participate with the est organization
in seminars and the 6 month grueling, no-holds-
barred Guest Seminar Leader's program.
To get clear may require piercing layers of
unconsciousness and hidden beliefs. I remember
one such piercing vividly. I sat at a long phone
bank with a stack of cards from people who
had attended an est guest seminar that week
preparing to call and ask them to sign up.
I dreaded it.
My enrollment team leader shouted through the
roar of surrounding voices to ask how many
people I was going to register that night. My
mind raced about like a squirrel on steroids
searching for an acceptable answer. It never
occurred to me to tell the truth, "I'm just trying
to stay under the radar and get through the night
without crying."
I had only just begun to recognize that myself.
As the fog lifted I saw more examples of how
afraid I was of standing out if I did not match
someone's expectations. As much as I loved
applause and approval, I always left a door
open to slip out the back.
That explained a lot of things about the struggles
in my life: my lack of success, the painful
relationship I clung to, my paralyzing fear of
confrontations.
That moment on the phones served me well. It
opened doors I did not know I closed. As I
write this, I'm proud of my accomplishments.
I have only mutually beneficial relationships.
I recently weathered a few confrontations by
standing up for myself without losing compassion.
Those fog-parting moments seem infinite--as
perhaps enlightenment itself is. There have
been many more. I'm sure there are more
where they came from.
If you want to breakout from desperation to an
adventure in enlightenment, pay close attention
to your real desires, your discernable intentions
and what you tell yourself and others. Not so
you can be good or avoid being bad, but for the
sheer clarity and power of truth as you know it.
Your word is your bond.
Love,
Mandy
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
How to Break Up Reality
Al Diaz and I had such a stimulating conversation last night on his show I’m still thinking about it. One thing we talked about were our personal wake up calls.
Here’s one. When my son was about 12 we were shopping for school clothes with our friend Brenda. Brenda worked as head of finance for Werner Erhard’s famous and infamous est organization. She knew a thing or two about what constituted reality.
When my son’s strong will met my soft heart getting him to do stuff was tricky. When Brenda and I were ready to leave the store that day I told him it was time to go. Then I gave him a few minutes more. Then I told him it really was time to go – about 12 times.
Finally Brenda leaned in and said It’s time to break up reality. When I asked what she meant, she replied, We walk out the door and go to the car.
You’d be amazed at how quickly he got there too.. He adjusted to that new reality immediately.
I get a lot of questions from people about how to change someone else. The key is always the same, change yourself. In family therapy the concept goes like this: If one member of a family changes, everyone else has to adjust to the new role definition. In metaphysics it is: If you wiggle our finger, the whole universe has to adjust.
That triggers another est memory. I was in at an est seminar with Werner Erhard. Someone asked a question, then listened to the answer about how he had to be responsible for his own experience. How come it’s always me? He asked only ½ joking. I don’t know how to tell you this, Werner replied, but in your life it’s always going to be you.
If there is a situation or relationship you are struggling with, maybe it’s time to break up reality. It takes action. Talking, unless it’s really different from your old familiar routine will not do it. For a lively adventure tweak your role in the universe, with your family, or at work with a new dance step, a new approach. I strongly recommend a light heart in a happy spirit of adventure. Watch what happens and let us know.
Love,
Mandy
You can listen to my recorded conversation with Al Diaz at
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ilumine-Ao
You can break up reality at the BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend in Vancouver, BC.
www.breakouttomiracles.com
Here’s one. When my son was about 12 we were shopping for school clothes with our friend Brenda. Brenda worked as head of finance for Werner Erhard’s famous and infamous est organization. She knew a thing or two about what constituted reality.
When my son’s strong will met my soft heart getting him to do stuff was tricky. When Brenda and I were ready to leave the store that day I told him it was time to go. Then I gave him a few minutes more. Then I told him it really was time to go – about 12 times.
Finally Brenda leaned in and said It’s time to break up reality. When I asked what she meant, she replied, We walk out the door and go to the car.
You’d be amazed at how quickly he got there too.. He adjusted to that new reality immediately.
I get a lot of questions from people about how to change someone else. The key is always the same, change yourself. In family therapy the concept goes like this: If one member of a family changes, everyone else has to adjust to the new role definition. In metaphysics it is: If you wiggle our finger, the whole universe has to adjust.
That triggers another est memory. I was in at an est seminar with Werner Erhard. Someone asked a question, then listened to the answer about how he had to be responsible for his own experience. How come it’s always me? He asked only ½ joking. I don’t know how to tell you this, Werner replied, but in your life it’s always going to be you.
If there is a situation or relationship you are struggling with, maybe it’s time to break up reality. It takes action. Talking, unless it’s really different from your old familiar routine will not do it. For a lively adventure tweak your role in the universe, with your family, or at work with a new dance step, a new approach. I strongly recommend a light heart in a happy spirit of adventure. Watch what happens and let us know.
Love,
Mandy
You can listen to my recorded conversation with Al Diaz at
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/Ilumine-Ao
You can break up reality at the BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend in Vancouver, BC.
www.breakouttomiracles.com
Monday, September 20, 2010
12 Tips to Harness the Power of Desire
Some thoughts to help you tap into the power of desire to motivate youself and others.
- Desire is the most powerful motivation there is.
- Your belief system determines what you allow yourself to want, even what dreams you dare to have.
- You can always grow if you follow your desire as a compass to guide you through life.
- You have to correct your course as new information becomes available.
- It is important to distinguish between what you want and what you think
- you should want.
- Getting what you want is wonderful.
- It is very important to be open to better than you ever imagined.
- The actual, live, felt state of desire is one of happy anticipation.
- Worry, dread and envy are often confused with desire; they are not the same thing.
- The difference between desire and attachment is vast.
- The ultimate goal of all desire is happiness.
- The secret about desire is that you can have that ultimate goal, happiness, right now if you only will allow it.
Throughout the ages sages have advised us to “follow the light” and to “look within.” What lights you up from within?
What do you think?
Love,
Mandy
Saturday, September 11, 2010
Let's Break Out to Miracles Together
If you are honestly ready to break out to happiness, success and miracles of wonder please consider coming to Vancouver for a BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend in Vancouver, BC, October 10/23-24.
It may take a personal breakout for you to cross that line from thinking about it, reading, listening and video viewing about it to embark on a new adventure in a larger, happier more creative reality. I’m cheering you on.
I know, it’s hard to imagine all by yourself. I created this weekend so we can break out from the limits we’ve put on our own vision together.
I would never encourage you to go into debt or damage your finances in order to attend. If you can handle it that leaves two questions:
Are you worth it?
Can this weekend deliver the breakout you want?
I have shared this powerful experience for several years in different settings. The feedback has been extraordinary.
The Breakout weekend contains all the best insights and workshop tested exercises from my life’s work. I love this weekend.
I’m especially eager to share it with you. Why? If you are reading this blog you are already engaged in the wonderful process of liberating yourself from limiting and self defeating beliefs that hold you back.
If you are ready, tempted or just curious go see at www.breakouttomiracles.com
There is a BIG $150 discount if you register by 9-30 so go see now.
Let’s stage a breakout together!
Love,
Mandy
It may take a personal breakout for you to cross that line from thinking about it, reading, listening and video viewing about it to embark on a new adventure in a larger, happier more creative reality. I’m cheering you on.
I know, it’s hard to imagine all by yourself. I created this weekend so we can break out from the limits we’ve put on our own vision together.
I would never encourage you to go into debt or damage your finances in order to attend. If you can handle it that leaves two questions:
Are you worth it?
Can this weekend deliver the breakout you want?
I have shared this powerful experience for several years in different settings. The feedback has been extraordinary.
The Breakout weekend contains all the best insights and workshop tested exercises from my life’s work. I love this weekend.
I’m especially eager to share it with you. Why? If you are reading this blog you are already engaged in the wonderful process of liberating yourself from limiting and self defeating beliefs that hold you back.
If you are ready, tempted or just curious go see at www.breakouttomiracles.com
There is a BIG $150 discount if you register by 9-30 so go see now.
Let’s stage a breakout together!
Love,
Mandy
Monday, August 30, 2010
Miracles of Wonder
When you break out from your own limits you discover you are surrounded by miracles and always have been. Take off the blinders you never even noticed putting on; you will see miracles of wonder everywhere.
I lived in despair for so many years. The oldest I have ever felt was when I was twenty eight. I could not see anything in front of me but a struggle to make it through as a newly single mother – barely. I viewed the world through my own belief system. It told me not to expect much from life, not to ask for anything from anyone.
Infinite opportunities for love, happiness, success – and miracles of wonder surrounded me. I could not see them. Now I see so many I get dizzy trying to choose. It was a long, sometimes painful journey, filled with blessings, love and guidance from many wonderful teachers.
As a coach, writer, seminar leader, I have walked with a whole lot of people through doors they never knew they closed. We broke out from the prisons of their own limiting beliefs into wide open spaces. It can be a dizzying experience, difficult, almost impossible to achieve on your own.
That is why I created the BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend. I took the most effective, powerful exercises and insights from long years of experience and combined them into a one weekend course. The idea is for people to learn how to uncover their own self-defeating beliefs, how to explore them and break out from them into greater freedom.
We have a really good time too. When you get past your own limits, there’s not much left, but truth, beauty, miracles and fun. What would you like to breakout from? Is there a miracle you want to break out to? Learn how at www.breakouttomiracles.com
This course is designed for lasting impact. When you know how to spot a prison and escape from it, you can do it over and over for the rest of your life.
The next BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend will be in Vancouver, British Columbia on October 23/24, hosted by Chuck Davis. You can learn a lot online; it does not compare to the live experience we will share.
This may be the best next step you could ever take and the best gift you could give yourself. Please check it out for yourself or someone you care about. There is a substantial discount for early registration. Enrollment is limited so please go to www.breakouttomiracles.com now.
Let’s break out to miracles in Vancouver!
Love,
Mandy
I lived in despair for so many years. The oldest I have ever felt was when I was twenty eight. I could not see anything in front of me but a struggle to make it through as a newly single mother – barely. I viewed the world through my own belief system. It told me not to expect much from life, not to ask for anything from anyone.
Infinite opportunities for love, happiness, success – and miracles of wonder surrounded me. I could not see them. Now I see so many I get dizzy trying to choose. It was a long, sometimes painful journey, filled with blessings, love and guidance from many wonderful teachers.
As a coach, writer, seminar leader, I have walked with a whole lot of people through doors they never knew they closed. We broke out from the prisons of their own limiting beliefs into wide open spaces. It can be a dizzying experience, difficult, almost impossible to achieve on your own.
That is why I created the BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend. I took the most effective, powerful exercises and insights from long years of experience and combined them into a one weekend course. The idea is for people to learn how to uncover their own self-defeating beliefs, how to explore them and break out from them into greater freedom.
We have a really good time too. When you get past your own limits, there’s not much left, but truth, beauty, miracles and fun. What would you like to breakout from? Is there a miracle you want to break out to? Learn how at www.breakouttomiracles.com
This course is designed for lasting impact. When you know how to spot a prison and escape from it, you can do it over and over for the rest of your life.
The next BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend will be in Vancouver, British Columbia on October 23/24, hosted by Chuck Davis. You can learn a lot online; it does not compare to the live experience we will share.
This may be the best next step you could ever take and the best gift you could give yourself. Please check it out for yourself or someone you care about. There is a substantial discount for early registration. Enrollment is limited so please go to www.breakouttomiracles.com now.
Let’s break out to miracles in Vancouver!
Love,
Mandy
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
