The Change Challenge

The biggest challenge with change can be living in the present with your new self. As Werner Erhard said, Most likely you are fine just the way you are, but you keep acting the way your were.

I worked with a successful executive who hadn't noticed that since he now delegates a lot of tasks, he no longer needs to appear busy at his desk all of the time -- or feel anxious when he's not. Feeling happier and more relaxed, he signed up for the executive gym. He decided to watch guilt-free Ted Talks for inspiration right there in the corner office with a view. Then he looked around for an opportunity to volunteer some time with kids who need  inspiration and guidance and found one.

I've taught adults to read, who then struggled to realise that they could. Like a woman who never thought to leave a note for her kids when she left home for an emergency, because for 42 years, she couldn't. Her children were frantic until she returned.

Another new reader found it frightening the labels and signs in the supermarket jumped out to bombard him with their messages. They intruded in an area of his awareness that before noticed only color and shape.

I've worked with people who grew up in a harsh environment. My job (and the purpose of my books) is to help them to break out from the limiting beliefs they adopted during painful times that still seem real. It can be so very hard for them to see themselves in the present self as lovable, or to imagine that life could be easier, even fun.

Every change in you requires adjustments from your family and friends too. Friends and spouses especially, may have signed up for a relationship with the old you. This new version may or may not fit. Patience may be called for, or letting go altogether.

Coming into your prime can be a jolt. So can leaving it as you age. I'm adjusting to accepting a helping hand with tasks I could manage easily just a few years ago. It's quite a change. I enjoy the outpouring of kindness that comes my way.

What's new with you? Your comments inform and inspire us.

Here's to the new edition of you. May you thrive and flourish right here, right now!

Love,
Mandy




What's new with you?

It's Not Love

"It's not love to teach someone that unhappiness (or anger, guilt, fear) pays off" ~Bruce Di Marsico. Are you tempted to jump through hoops to avoid 'making' someone unhappy? Emotional blackmail is usually unconscious. When we give in to it though, we reinforce it. Then it works, but the price in emotional health is always too high.

This is one of the most challenging life lessons; the homework and the tests go on and on: When you use misery to motivate yourself or someone else you wield a razor sharp double edged sword.

Here are some examples:

• Anger may help you to get your way, but it leaves a path of destruction in its wake, a path filled with words that cannot be unsaid and actions that can never be un-taken.
• Fear may help you avoid perceived danger but it will not keep you safe. Awareness of danger and the ability to overcome or escape it will protect you more.
• Guilt may convince someone to change their behavior, but no one likes to feel guilty. Resentment builds until it takes a toll like an explosive reaction or the loss of a relationship.

When you give in to someone you love in order to avoid their anger, scare tactics, or attempts to make you feel guilty, you teach them to get angrier, scarier, and more guilt inducing.

When you veer from your own sense of personal integrity to help some one else avoid being unhappy it may seem loving and kind. But it teaches your loved ones that being unhappy is good for them. It reinforces the common limiting belief that, "if you loved me, you would... well, basically do anything to avoid making me unhappy" and it's partner "If you don't do what I want, it means you don't care."

One of the most loving things you, as caring person, can do, is to stick to the truth as you know it and refuse to yield to emotional blackmail. You do not have to retaliate, make them wrong or push back. Just hold your own. A simple "this will never do" will suffice.

Another loving thing to do is to become conscious of your own attempts to wield that angry, fearful, guilty sword against yourself or someone else. Give it up. Find another way to communicate with yourself and others that does not sacrifice your happiness and emotional well-being.

The very good news is that you do not have to give up your desire for anything. You can still reach for anything you want if you:

• Focus on your desire.
• Ask for what you want from yourself, others, or the universe.
• Practice and repeat, practice and repeat.

Cheering you on to love and happy motivation!

Reminder: there are lots of free and inexpensive resources for emotional well-being on my website. Please visit and poke around http://mandyevans.com/ .

Supercoach Masterclass Series Video

 I just got a video clip from my training from Micheal Neill's Supercoach     Masterclass Series. Michael is a wonderful author (You Can Have What You Want, Supercoach and more), coach, and friend. Over the last years I've worked with him in NYC and LA, training coaches in how to help their clients to break out from beliefs that block happiness and success. This time, he came up with a great new idea. He put together a combined live and virtual training with some of his favorite coaches and trainers to work with students in NYC, LA, Seattle and London. Participants from all around the world attended the live events or watched streaming video.



Bright and early at the Wilshire Motel
 

I taught my segment in beautiful Santa Monica. To make the adventure even sweeter, my friends Ross and Buzz and I drove in the night before to have dinner and see "The Book of Mormon". We stayed at the vintage Wilshire Motel and had a fabulous time.

Here's the link for the clip from that LA event and the one in NYC, put together by Joe Alamo. For a look inside the world of coaching, go see.

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ZM9oo5mhK4

May all of your work be filled with delightful adventures and all of your adventures full of wondrous new insights.

Welcome in 2013

Welcome to you, dear reader!

What would you like to welcome into your life in 2013? Here are 3 steps you can take to open the door and make it real, right here, right now:

 Become aware of what you want. When you know what you would like to show up in your world, you begin to attract it to you or move toward it. You separate out your desires from the infinite random possibilities of the universe. You enable yourself to focus on what you welcome. You perceive opportunities you would overlook if you were not conscious and clear about what matters to you.

Write it down. When you write something down, it instantly enters the realm of physical reality, a big move forward.

Share it here. In my courses and coaching the (seeming) magic of sharing astounds me. Letting the universe and your fellow beings in on your heart's desires creates a mighty partnership for manifestation. What you focus on grows. Imagine what happens when we focus on what you want!

I hope you will join us in the joy of sharing our heart's desires by posting yours, commenting on ours and sharing this post.

Here is my list.

I Welcome in 2013

• More peace, prosperity, love, health and happiness for everyone.
• Less violence, hate, punishment and harsh judgement in the world.
• Everyone who can benefit from reading my books, "Emotional Options" and "Travelling Free" is able to read them.
• Clarity about how to be most useful in the most fun ways.
• Opportunities to be useful in fun ways, especially helping people to break out from limiting beliefs.
• Good health.
• Good friends.
• The continued love and support of my friends and family.
• Connecting with some new people for mutually beneficial adventures.
• Some really good books to read.
• Lots of laughing out loud.
• Lots of good reviews on Amazon and wherever they will help readers connect.
• Learning life's lessons in a peaceful, happy and exciting ways.

Repeat! I hope you will join us in the joy of sharing our heart's desires by posting yours, commenting on ours and sharing this post.

Happy New Year!

Cheering you on with love,
Mandy

Meaningful Holiday Gifts

If you are looking for meaningful gifts at affordable prices for the holidays, please consider these two books:

The gift of happiness, "Emotional Options: A Handbook for Happiness"

Learn how to become your own belief detective. Break out from the hidden beliefs that block your happiness and success.
For reviews and orders

http://amzn.com/B002ACPNXK

The gift of Recovery, "Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past by Changing Your Beliefs"
For everyone who has lived through tough times and wounding experiences. Filled with workshop-tested exercises and insights from real people.

For reviews and orders

http://amzn.com/B002ACPNXK

I've put the very best of everything I have learned in decades of work with limiting, self-defeating beliefs into these two books to share with you and your dear ones. They are available in paperback and Kindle editions. If you live in another country, check Amazon for your area.

Wishing you the gifts of happiness and recovery for the holidays and always.

With love,

Mandy

Open Your Mind with Wonder

When my friend, Joan Casamo posted this on Facebook, she gave me a way to describe my work in just those few words: "I would rather have a mind opened by wonder than one closed by belief"

After so many years of watching people struggle in vain to believe something positive -- something that will make them rich, bring them love or end their suffering, what a relief. For your consideration: Would you rather have wonder open your mind or do you seek to narrow it with limiting beliefs about things we cannot fathom?

Here's to wandering about in wonder and awe -- bewildered!

Resource recommendation: to open your mind to wonder, "Accepting Miracles" A 60 minute video recorded live in San Diego with Joe Vitale. Check it out. http://mandyevans.com/archives/accepting-miracles-video/

Startled Awake by Beauty

I looked outside and gasped. Startled awake by the beauty of the morning, I ran for my camera and out into the day. With my cold bare feet in wet grass I gazed in wonder as the moon lingered over the mountain.

May you be startled awake by beauty and happiness -- often!