The Care and Feeding of Mothers

A report out this week ranks the USA low on its list of the best places to be a mother. It cites a high rate maternal and infant mortality as well as short maternity leaves in its findings.

Since my work is with limiting beliefs that block success and happiness one more cause stands out as well. Human babies do not survive without a great amount of care. If we’re here, we got it, from someone. But in our society we appear to believe that mothers (and caregivers in general) produce endless care, support, nurturing, love, patience, courage and endurance but require nothing to sustain them.

That belief blocks the care and feeding of mothers. Do you know a family where they lavish daily praise and encouragement on the mom? Prepare her favorite foods? Cheer her on when she’s discouraged? Read to her when she’s sick? Imagine what a happy household that would be.

On Sunday, in the US, we celebrate mother’s day, mostly with cards and flowers. A precious gift that is free is acknowledgement, of the gift of life, of caring. Maybe your mom pushed herself beyond her own limits and fears to nurture and provide for you, hoping beyond hope to spare you from every hurt that almost did her in, to give you the best shot to make what you will of the miracle of life. If your mother wasn’t able to do that, maybe someone else did. Or several people.

My mother and I had a rocky time of it but I had time to apologize for the thoughtless things I did and said as a child and teenager -- time to thank her for giving me life. She was surprised and touched. I’m so glad I did.

I wish I had acknowledged my grandmothers for their kindness, love and support. I tell them now, but I’m not so sure they get it.

If you would like to acknowledge your mother and/or those who nurtured you, I would love know your thoughts. You can leave comments here.

Acknowledging the amazing nurturing spirit in each of us! Happy Mother’s Day.

Love,
Mandy

Break Out from this Confusing Barrier to Happiness and Success

When it comes to beliefs that block success and happiness here’s a popular whopper: Confusion is bad.

There’s more. That constricting belief usually comes with a snaggle of auxiliary ones like:

Don’t let anyone know you are confused
Being confused means you’re stupid
Confusion is humiliating
Avoid confusion at all costs

One of the first barriers my students work through in the Breakout Method, is reluctance to experience confusion. Confusion is a very high state of mind. It comes at that moment just before you learn something brand new or when you see that something is not the way you thought it was and new clarity emerges from the fog.

Fear of confusion or appearing confused keeps us thinking inside the box. Protecting yourself from confusion strengthens the walls. As we grow older the box gets smaller and tighter. It blocks new experiences, inspiration, information and miracles.

In seminars, most of my students break out way beyond fear of confusion. They actually learn to welcome it. When I see someone embrace a state of total bewilderment with gleeful enthusiasm and a grinning “Oh, boy, I am sooo confused!” I know we’ve stepped into a whole new arena.

Miracles, by definition reside outside the box of false certainty. Breaking out to miracles usually entails a passage through confusion to access the wonders that abound, just outside of the box of limiting beliefs.

Cheering you on to happy confusion!

Love,
Mandy

Learn more about embracing confusion:

http://tinyurl.com/emotionaloptions

Share your thoughts http://beliefbreakout.blogspot.com/

Your Connection to Miracles

You came into this world with a way to attract what you
want or move toward it. Then your (mostly well-meaning)
parents, teachers, and media experts told you it was bad,
wrong and the cause of all suffering.

If you dare to follow the extraordinary power of desire as
an inner sense of direction you will bring wonders into
your life. Desire is the strongest motivation of all. Your
own heart's desire will lead you to a welcome outcome
more than all the discipline you could ever muster.

Be willing to correct your course as new information
becomes available.

Be happy now, the rest is gravy.

Work on yourself. As the old saying goes "trying to make
someone else change is like trying to teach a pig to sing.
It frustrates you and it makes the pig mad."

Focus, re-focus and focus again on what you want.

Because our limiting beliefs block so many opportunities
it helps to have someone point out other possibilities
among the infinite opportunities that surround us all.
You may choose a mentor, a coach, a friend or be blessed
with a mastermind group like mine to broaden your horizons.

Here is a secret about me that may help you break out to miracles.
My birthday is this Saturday, April 3rd. Do you know what my
strong desire has been for a long time? To get through it without
pain.

That's an improvement from early birthdays when I wanted to
get through it without devastating pain. My father was a violent
alcoholic. My mother always said, "I don't have a maternal bone
in my body." Although I had a far easier childhood than many
people I've worked with and some of you who will read this,
it was not conducive to jolly birthday celebrations.

This year another layer of fog parted and I saw it clearly! I had
limited my birthday desire to the avoidance of pain - a narrow
target I sometimes missed.

This year I am celebrating a birthday breakout. I want to have
an amazing, magical birthday full happy surprises beyond my
wildest imagination. I want mark my entry into this realm filled
with love and joy.

Desire has already attracted beautiful cards, Facebook messages,
thoughtful gifts and lunch and dinner dates with beloved friends.

Here's one from Harry Cauley. He was the leading man when I
worked in summer stock in 1960! His card said: "To my dear
friend, you never will be old. For, as you were when first your
eye I eyed, such is your beauty still." Wm. Shakespeare.

Such, my dears, is the power of desire to bring beautiful people,
generosity, grace, happiness, love, prosperity, joyful celebration -
whatever you want to welcome into your life to you.

When I blow out the candles you will be in my birthday wishes.

Desire marks the path.
Mandy

Lessons from Hummingbirds

There is just something about hummingbirds. I confess to a stab of envy when my friend Betty found a hummingbird nest in a tree in her yard.

I dreamed of having that experience too. A thrill of delight followed when one began to build her nest right outside the window above my desk last year. Alas, she chose a large leaf on a shedding succulant. When it fell off, I knew the sinking feeling of disappointment. I'll bet she did too.

A few days ago I sipped some morning coffee and gazed out the window from the dining area in my little casita by the lake. A flash of movement caught my eye. A pair of super-speedy wings held a wee bird in place for a moment. She lit on a branch and poked at something.

Again and again she returned until she had her beautiful nest just about done. I thought, "I'd better tell the gardeners not to trim this tree." Then I thought, "They never trim this tree unless I ask them to." The thought persisted until I forced it out of my mind. They say humans are the only creatures who go against their own instincts.

Must be true, because I sure went against mine. When I returned to my vantage point, the tree had been trimmed and the little nester was nowhere in sight.

Now I knew the dejection of bitter disappointment.

'It's just an experience," I told myself. It's not something you really had.
"That's all we ever want!" I answered.
"Well, have another one," I replied.
" I wanted the watching-the-humming-bird one." I shot back.

Just about then, she flew in for the landing. I knew the joy, the delight, the rapture of a miracle.

Here's what I learned from the hummingbird.

Even if you are not always good, experience envy, indulge in disappointment, go against your own instincts, argue with yourself and do not create a happy experience evenwhen you know how -- miracles abound! You just have to keep an eye out and accept them.

I 'm thinking about presenting another "BREAKOUT to Miracles Weekend" I'll keep you posted.

Love,
Mandy

PS -- Look how close they came! See the fresh cuts on the branch by her beak and behind her! Miracles abound!

Do You Use This Formula for Success?

Last night I returned from an extraordinary experience in New York. I taught 40 coaches in Michael Neill’s Super Coach Academy how to help their clients to break out from beliefs that block happiness and success.

I’ve known and admired Michael for a few years. He is super good and super successful at what he does and in his life.

What does he do that so many of us do not? After a weekend with him and some reflection I got it. He is happy, but so are lots of people. He treats everyone so well. Especially me! Right down to the 4th row center seats at the Broadway show I picked. His entire team treated me, the students and each other really well. It was quite an experience to bask in the midst of all of that well-treating. It allowed me to teach with intense focus and concentration.

It was an unusual experience. But there is more! Michael Neill treats himself really well too! A joy to behold. I’m pretty good at the treating others part, improving at factoring my own well-being in. Now I want to cherish myself and look after me as the amazing, one of a kind being I am.

You know, like the amazing, one of a kind being you are.

Here’s my new, expanded formula for success:

• Be happy and do what you want


• Treat everyone really well


• Treat yourself like the honored guest at the party of life


• Ask for what you want


• Give what you want to give
  
  Let me know how it goes!
  
  To your happiness and success!
  
  Mandy
  
  If you like outrageous dark comedy and you are in NYC, go see Christopher Walken in “A Behanding in Seattle” in previews now.

Are You Blocking Love?

In matters of the heart, if you want the law of attraction to work for you look at your beliefs about love. Some of them may not be true. They may actually block love and limit or defeat you in your quest for a life partner, nurturing family connections and rich, full friendships. It is the hidden beliefs, the ones we don’t even know we have that usually cause the most trouble. But once you know what they are, you can begin to change them.

Here are some commonly held beliefs about love that can ruin a relationship and block the happiness that comes with sharing love with an open heart:

“I’m not good enough to be loved.” Very few people go around saying “I am not good enough to be loved,” but this belief shows up in a variety of ways. People who live by it astound their friends and family by how little they will settle for in a mate and by the amount of abuse they will take. Another clue that this belief is in effect is the inability to accept love when it is freely offered.

“Letting go is hard to do.” Those with this belief suffer long and hard at the breakup of a relationship. Changing your focus from loss and pain to what you want to experience instead will help you to create that experience. The best way to let go is to reach for something else.

“Until I have the romantic love-of-my life I am not a success.” People who believe this fail to enjoy the other wonders in life—friends, family, and the glory of nature. The pride and pleasure of mastering new challenges mean little or nothing to them if they are not romantically involved.

“Love is scarce.” This myth causes people to latch on and hold tight at the first hint of a budding relationship. They do not have relationships; they take hostages. When their “prisoners of love” struggle and sooner or later break free, it reinforces the belief that the potential for a loving relationship is slim.

“Rejection” has to be painful and is to be avoided at all cost.” This belief prevents relationships from growing and changing in intimacy and strength. It causes fear-based communication and interaction. If you and your partner are not a good match, the sooner you know, the better. You can wish each other well and improve your chances of finding a more compatible match.

“I wasted my love on him, or her.” As if there were some huge rotting garbage heap of wasted love somewhere! Although sometimes you may not like the results of the choices you make, that does not mean that the experience of loving was wasted.

“Love is something you acquire and trade like a commodity. Because it results in constant calculation and evaluation, this belief ends in shallow exchanges and loneliness. For the man or woman who operates from this belief, it also seems real that others view him or her in the same calculating way.

“If you loved me, you would _____ (fill in the blank).” Those who suffer (and suffer they do!) from this conclusion measure how loved they are by whether their lovers give in to their demands. The demands escalate until they drive loved ones away or create a living nightmare instead of a loving partnership.

“Love takes away unhappiness.” When someone looks at love through this lens any upset signifies a failure of love. Ironically, when you actively love yourself or someone else, you usually will feel happier. It just doesn’t work when you try to put someone else in charge of your feelings.

“I don’t have anyone to love.” You can fill your heart with love for anyone at anytime. You don’t have to tell them you are doing it! That loving feeling is hard to beat!

What do you do when you find a limiting or self-defeating belief? This discovery is the first step to freedom. Here are four more.

1. Write the belief down so you can focus on it. Ask yourself, “Is that true?” Write your answer down. The goal is simply to determine if you really think that particular belief is true.

Many times this question will be enough to liberate you from a belief that has blocked your ability to love and be loved.

2. If the belief still seems true to you, ask “Why do I believe that? What seems true about this belief?”

3. If your belief disappeared, would that be ok? The answer to this might surprise you. It often leads to the discovery of some hidden fear you may need to work through.

4. Sometimes we are reluctant to part with a belief we have lived by for a long time. Ask “What might I be concerned would happen if I did not believe that?” Let your thoughts and imagination go with this one. Write freely. A masterpiece can come later. Right now give voice to the response that comes when you ask the question.

When you see for yourself that something you have believed, maybe for years, is simply not true, you open the door to new possibilities. What lies on the other side of limiting and self-defeating beliefs? Infinite opportunities to fill your life with love and happiness.

Sending you love and wishing you a happy Valentine’s Day!

Mandy

Helpful Resources

Learn how to exercise your Emotional Options. Read Emotional Options.
In paperback: http://amzn.com/1878639005
For Kindle: http://amzn.com/B008RBUC4S

Break out from beliefs you adopted in hard times that you may still live by. Read Travelling Free
In paperback: http://amzn.com/1878639048
For Kindle: http://amzn.com/B002ACPNXK

What Do You Want in 2010

What would you like to move toward or attract to you in 2010? Take these steps to attract miracles as we enter a new decade.

Become conscious. Set aside some time alone or with friends to focus on what you want to welcome into you life this year.

Make it real. You help potential miracles move from vague notions to physical manifestation on planet earth by making them real. Make a Welcome List. The vibration of a thought form changes if you write it down. It begins the journey to show up in your life. You can make it more physical and strengthen it along the way if you tell someone else. And someone else. When lots of people hold the same dream with you and for you, it changes again. Now the idea exists in other people’s minds. They may talk about it. It begins to live in the sound vibration of the spoken word.

Remove limiting beliefs that block success. If you feel bad when you think about what you want I’ll bet you believe something that is not true -- something that limits your ability to feel actual joyful desire, or share freely what you want. If you focus on what you want and you feel worried, resentful, angry, guilty, afraid or sad, get to work using free articles at www.mandyevans.com, or by working with the exercises in “Emotional Options” or “Travelling Free: How to Recover from the Past.”

Focus, focus again, focus some more. It’s not mysterious. What you focus on grows. If you keep your eyes on the prize you will discover opportunities, connections, open doors and the prize itself. If you keep your focus on who done you wrong or who got more, you’ll see a whole lot more of that.

Acknowledge and appreciate any and all movement in the desired direction. So often we dismiss the first mini-manifestations that show up as insufficient and “not worth the trouble.” We give up or lose hope.
Learn what you need to know to make it work out.

Be happy now. The pot of gold at the end of all our seeking is happiness in any of it’s wondrous forms. It may be delight, peace, feeling loved or loving, excitement, being at one with the world or bliss. It is the reward you can have at the beginning of your journey as well as at the triumphant end. You can give it to yourself right now.

Close your eyes and ask yourself: If you could feel any way you want to right now, what would it be. See what happens.

When you know what to do, take action! For years I thought how much I would like it if Amazon would stamp packages that are gifts with “Gift” or something so we can tell them from stuff we order ourselves. Today I sent Jeff Bezos a quick email. I mentioned my son, Barnaby who was a Vice President at Amazon. About an hour later he answered: "Thx for the suggestion, and I will pass it on to the team. (I'm a big Barnaby fan!)." Fast, huh?

Maybe you’ll get a gift with an Amazon stamp one day – think of me :-)!

Wishing you a bright new decade filled with love and happiness.

Mandy

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